Seek the Signs

I’ve been blessed these few days that passed. I realised that lessons in life come in all shapes and sizes and they may just come from unexpected sources. First and foremost, it may be a bit noteworthy to note that just last Saturday, I competed in the evaluation contest within the division of my toastmaster’s circle. Realisation came again that I am at my peak best when I am not under the pressure of my own scrutinisation. There were no core supporters in sight,except for the organising club members who were there as usual giving their dosage of welcoming support. I was a bit overwhelmed when I scrolled down the list of people participating in the evaluation part. There was this Benjaming Cheng dude,the founder of S.E.A Speaker’s Association,who was a highly sought after trainer. Then there was Kelvin Thiang,the division winner the year before,who also participated in the Humorous Speech earlier. Then there was the Master himself. A Distinguished Toastmaster. A lawyer by profession. Last year’s District Evaluation Contest speaker in Macau,Pradeep Kumar. Then there were two other dude and a lady who I knew very well as competent evaluators in their own right. And myself. The novice,first time evaluator from AIA Changi representing at Division level. The session for the picking of lots was significant. I was a bit nonchalant,as I thought that it really did not matter the order of sequence. I thought,why bother when I was perhaps not having even the slightest of chances. I chose not to draw any lots. I allowed everybody to pick theirs. What was left,will be my number. Guess what? I got the last speaker slot. My lucky number 7. Great,I thought to myself. Unlike speech contest,being last does not exactly put one in a favourable state. Firstly, because by contextual manner,the last speaker is literally the last speaker. So for that day,I was akin to be the 18th speaker. Imagine if you are a audience or a contest judge who had to sit through 18 speakers,of all shapes and sizes. Dreadful. Anyway,during the session of waiting for my turn,I could literally see the burning desires within each and every contestant. I was the only bloke sitting down in the room,humming to myself,whilst the rest paced and fidgeted nervously aound the room. A picture of concentration and absolute focus. My attempts at cracking small conversations fell flat. All that was going through my mind was the mental visual that I am gonna be on stage and enjoy myself,whilst at the same time making sure the audience enjoyed themselves too. Soon my turn came. And this was what I said,(I remember it so well.It was a 3 minutes evaluation.)

“Contest Chair. Fellow Toastmasters,ladies and gentlemen and of course to my beautiful Geng Yeok. I usually use the words impeccable and elegant to describe a dance. But today I beg to differ because you had proved indefinitely that you are able to present an elegant speech impeccably. Congratulations. Now,Geng Yeok,what was going well for you today? First let me say that you have a personality. Most of us here probably find that lacking,and that happens to be the differentiating factor between a good and great speaker. The audience were able to engage themselves to you,people like Gae Ban Peng,because you had a lot of personality. You seemed to exude an aura of feminine radiance. Good for you. Secondly,your speech was short and sweet. Just like yourself. I understood it simply and clearly. And of course you attempted to use visual aids to enhance your speech. By dancing Salsa and showing us on the board what the word stood for in acronym. We managed to understand clearly your message about how Salsa had affected certain components of your life. Geng Yeok,I have three suggestions for you. I propose firstly for you to have a central theme to illustrate your message. An example is perhaps about how Salsa has affected your love life. If you do not have a love life,I can help you with it. Because the problem with having five areas of discussions in your acronym,is that it does not aid audience’s memory retention. Secondly,I recommend that you utilise the usage of the stage fully. As a dancer you know that in order to work the audience,you need to work the dance floor,which in your case today,was the stage. I noticed that you had perhaps subconsciously,adopted your salsa-ic stance and as a result only moved forward and backwards. I would have preferred to have you salsa your way down the sides as well. Last but not least,my personal challenge to you,is for you to look into imbueing your personality into your future speeches. No doubt you have the personality,but how you can carry a message with that personality,is your challenge. To summarise,I believe that if you can strike that balance between your likable personality and your message in your speechcrafting,soon enough,you’ll be dancing into our hearts. Contest Chair.”

Impromptu evaluation. So what did I achieve? What is the big deal all about? First,I got a hug immediately after I came down from the stage from my immediate past president,James. He said,”You outperformed yourself!” My president,Goo Yin shook my hand and exclaimed loudly,”If you do not win the Champion today,then the judges are blind.” But knowing how false,praise can be,I asked an audience seate beside me,”How did I do?”.He said,”It’s you or Pradeep. Both of you were the only ones who stood out with a different point of view on things.” The moment of truth finally came. I got a runner’s up plaque. Behind the champion Pradeep. A judge came over and whispered to my ears,”It was very close.”Comforting words? Perhaps. James came over and said,”There is no shame in losing to Pradeep. You know it yourself.” Perhaps James. Perhaps. For the meantime,it is indeed a consolation. The realisation is that I probably have to work harder next year.

Just yesterday,I met up with a client. A 55 year old polytechnic lecturer,a Captain in the maritime industry. Was there to aid him with his retirement planning. Is he rich? I don’t know indefinitely. Properties lying around in Malaysia. A private house in Singapore. A former candidate for NMP. An acquaintance of the late Harun Ghani. Bought his first property at the age of 18. A former under 20 Singapore player. Exco member of Geylang United FC. A trustee member of Sultan mosque. Has a 24 year old daughter. (shit!)Anyway,my point is,this chap is one antithesis of success. From my probing,he definitely is an achiever within the ranks of our small community. The list is too long for citations here. But the humility was evident. What I took out of that conversation was this comments from him,

“Hijazi.It is so hard a name to prononounce.What does it mean? “My clealiness.”I answered. “That’s good.I like it.I like you too. You probe me with the right words. Are you married?” “Soon enough.”I said. “That’s good. You could do with the responsibility.I notice that you are wearing a Toastmasters shirt…” “Errr,yes I am.I am a speaker….”I quivered. “Excellent. A talent. That is your strength,I noticed. You are dynamic. Maybe becase you are young. But you can speak. Being in this industry,you need the right network and the right point of reference. Credibility is sought after. A speaker eh? Interesting. Have you thought of…”and he continued on the conversation for over slightly an hour with me. Perhaps, in summary,he broke through my threshold of possibilities. Always thought I should do something. He confirmed that thought for me. Anyway,that’s for another entry. I just know that I have a deadline to meet.(raying hard)

A loved one send a text over the net just recently. “Is that you Hijazi? Blah…blah…blah…congratulations on your wedding….”Frankly put,I was just a bit blue and black all over. Firstly, of course it’s me. “Is that you Hijazi?” sounds a little bit off in the sense of ignorance or mockery? Perhaps my pics looked a bit ugly. (laughs) Nevertheless,the congratulations part just seems to be a bit of bitter pill to swallow. As moronic as it may sound,I do not really appreciate the congratulations portions of the marriage segments. An arm around my shoulders with the words,”Soon you’ll be a married man. Awwww!” by my Monsta is more comforting and sincere than the constant probing of “Hope your preparations are doing great.” The whole significance of marriage and wedding is not lost on me. I am just bemused by the dying obsession as though marriage is the penultimate event in anyone’s life. Yes sometimes I enjoy the occasional banters and jokes about being married. But as I highlighted to Monsta,why the paranoia? Will I turn into a three headed son of a bitched monster/alien after I’m married? Marriage is just a transition into another life phase. Period. Yes,significant. But definitely not the penultimate factor in determining happiness. Years back,I used to dream about my wedding and how it will turn out? Will it turn out that way? No. but do I regret having those dreams? No. Because those dreams measure the extend of how much I want to achieve in life. Realistically,the marriage is never so much the issue. It’s the wedding that can prove to be the greatest tests of all. It does not matter if you have or not the dough to finance a wedding. To my discovery,the essential component is how steadfast one is,in forming a family. It is noteworthy to mention that not even a single bloke/relatives/friends who asked me these questions of whether I am spiritually ready to guide my wife? Kids? Do I keep to my daily prayers conscientiously? Have I performed any special prayers in readiness? And all other componential questions that shapes a marriage,family and legacy. Instead, the proverbial teasers are,how much is the hantaran? What is the concept? What wedding car? How many hantaran dulangs? Where are the weddin cards? Blah. That is the sickening thing. The obsession with bastardisation of marriages. As sick as this may sound,weddings might just be a stopover in any case. The marriage a.k.a the journey is more worthy of contemplations. Noticed how enteprising we can be when it comes to wedding planning. We’ve already prebooked things for events happening 2 years down the road. Ask where our insurance policies are and we scramble through the haystack looking for a yellow needle. Our people are also the most networked people because when a wedding comes along,one suddenly have 500 friends to call upon and invite. Funny,how these 500 friends and relatives just disappear when that utilities bill come begging down your mailbox. Ever heard of wedding planners being millionaires? If you do,tell me. What’s with the surge in wedding planners? You get my drift? Surge in wedding planner. Surge in unwed mothers. Surge in divorce rates. What’s the corelations? The bastardisation of marriages. The lack of insightful discourse. Plan the wedding,and you’ll be king and queen of the day…by which you’ll turn into that occupational janitors the next day. Look around. Seek the signs.

I’ve digressed. My point is,the congratulatory wish from that soul was just a bit,slight. Sigh. Certain chapters in my life are written to be a story of its own. To flip back sometimes through those pages can be a bit daunting,no matter how far into the book I’ve gone into. That is why sometimes,I hate justifying myself to others. There are days when I clearly make it known that one is cherished and loved in the capacity as it is. Yet,I am made to sound rhetorical just because of circumstances. Look at the person and listen to what he is saying…not where he’s saying it. If life is so fair that one gets what he wants that easily,I am probably not writing this entry,but just kissing the lids of the sleeping Jessica Biel. I know what I want. It’s just probably you do not have what I want. Or you cannot give what I want. It’s fair to say this from my perspective. And since life is fair,I bet everyone else have their own perspective. Thank you to the soul who wished me. It’s just that in the scheme of things,”What do you call a rose other than its name,”so you must understand that there are certain chapters in my life that are not completely written,cause it was ripped out. And like all books,you cannot fully understand the story till you read all the chapters. Some things are surpressed not because I want to. It’s because for the benefit of living,I have to. Sometimes,leaving and being left does not always equate to an abundance of hatred. It grows and germinates into that essential quotient of acceptance living. Embrace the pain such that it pricks no more,but imbues with you.

And on that note,to friends who probably find that the rainbow after the shower is a bit distant,have faith. I just learned from my lovely partner,”The Adversity Quotient”. God tests you the way you melt gold. To get the purest gold,extreme heat has to be applied. If you are contented to be the blackest gold,stay comforted in your merriment that’s devoid of obstacles. That’s the way it is. The nature of things. In the great scheme of life,the people who think they matter,are perhaps just passing through like the gentle breeze on your hands. Felt,but definitely temporary. The ones who truly matter are the rays of sunshine. They may be gone briefly,but you know they’ll shine on you the next morning. Choose your associations. Kudos.

the story goes

The recent breaking fast session that I had with my secondary school friends proved to be a eye opener in many more ways than one. I can firmly say,tongue in cheek that it was a heartwarming journey nevertheless. There was the proverbial married man,gonna be married man,not wanting to get married man and probably the undecided as to whether thinking about it was even a worthy undertaking.*winks* Exchanging stories of the yesteryears never fail to bring that tinge of sweet smile to our faces,as we fondly recall the kiddish and naughty esapades of girls and footballs. The times when a french kiss can cause an even bigger uproar in school than all the earthquakes in this region combined. When tales of not fasting in the month of ramadhan was as typical as wearing that renoma boxers. Of days when boys who finished school early would faithfully wait till the evening session of school was over so that they could accompany their beloved,younger,child like girlfriends home. Those were the days when faithfulness was synonymous as being unwanted. In a way. The days when love bite marks warranted undivided attention over everything else. Haha. Though I was never amongst those who could show them. I fell in that category of wanting to have but not able to get one. Haha. It’s just nice noting that as people grow older,sometimes being an ardent cynic is so much better than being an optimist. At least it will justify some inadequacies. “I will not do this or do that,not because I cannot,but it’s just that it does not make sense…” Yeah sure! What’s the coolest thing about falling in love? Well,it’s that adrenalin rush of finally gathering evidence that life sudenly has a purpose. Awwww,come on. everyone goes through that motion. Remember that time when you get to know someone new? Over a period of exchanges,verbally or visually,your brain begins to decipher some similarities. Then you begin to relate to it by the dynamics of simple associations. She loves movies. You love movies. She loves Manchester United,you probably too. And so the story goes,like attracts like. Then you tell yourself that,there is probably a 20% chance that she’s likable enough for you. Then you begin to break down a list of simple guerilla strategies,because you learned from past relationships,that sometimes,things can be too good to be true. So what you do,is you device some strategic psychological warfare. You ask the ‘significant’ questions…like”What are your thoughts about people who marry because they cannot live without each other? And so forth…”You begin to refine your outlook on being more philosophical and thoughtful. Your brain says that she or he has to filter through this round of soft interrogation. Haha. Then when that person answers your questions with aplomb,you congratulate yourself on the fact that your first impression judgement call was probably right. Then you move forward,with more intensity. Exhanges of fleeting commitment…”I miss you…where are you now…make sure you eat something…call me when you reach home…I’ll stay up for you…use my money first…can we meet after work…looking forward to the weekends…I’ll message you…want me to order your favourite drink…have you told your parents that we’ll be back late…etc”Haha. Sounds familiar? Chances are you’ve spoken those words with an alacrity never heard of. Then you have fallen into that mode of date-able. Over a slightly longer time,you long for a little bit of independence. Then you decide to think seriously about it. Really seriously. Aaaaaaah…that is the time when you have to call into question that small thing call your heart…the perennial question,”Does this feel right!?”If your answer is yes…chances are,you are in that first phase of developing love.

Sometimes,it’s just a little too late,as what Jojo sang. Damn,if I could have turned back the wheels of time,I would have seriously worked harder on the aspects of my life than to go around scooting after the skirts of the ladies. Not that I mind. But the majority of those ladies who figured much in my life are probably by now married,enjoying life with their respective partners or just plain getting shagged. Whatever the matter is,chances are,the amount of time to spent on a lady should be brief,as what I’ve finally figured. Yeah,they deserve attention and everything else,but the way I look at it now,I’ll rather devote that time of my precious life to one precious woman who has the willingness and sanity of building a family with kids and all. Statistics have shown that in the majority of cases,men expires faster. Time is short. Will rather build my legacy. It’s easier for women to paint the sorry pictres of being victimised or just being in the wrong relationship with the wrong guy. I’ve heard it. Then another sympathetic bloke comes along and cajoles the woman into basic empowerment to leave that darn relationship with the promise of better days ahead. He wins the woman,and the woman will lay herself down like a toasted bread,awaiting to be spread with honey coated margarine. If she’s lucky,she’ll get married to that bloke. If not,just repeat the same cycle of playing victim. Law of averages will definitely settle her down. But,let me conclude this thought by saying that this view is my myopic,marginalised view on certain types of women. Generally,women are wise enough not to be typically classified. However like I said,the onus is on the men folk to figure out their commitment issues. Either be ready,or stay out of it totally. Do not be in that limbo of proclaiming,”Let me be the last amongst us guys to get married…”but you go around haplessly dating and trying to find the right one. Nothing really wrong,but as I’ve learned,such contradiction just bodes misfortune. Chuck that damn ego aside men! I mean,if you feel that you are all ready to wake up in the middle of the might to the cries of a baby,then commit yourself to finding the right one,full force. That’ll be more productive,believe me. But,if you secretly desire such thoughts,yet,puff your chests up and say silly things such as “I’ll marry last…I’ll wait till my bank account is $50K…marriage can wait…or the favourite,what’s the rush?,I wish you well partners…because your ego will just be pricked harder when you have to go through the years realising that the many girls you dated had you as just one of their numbers game,vice versa,and she’s probably waking up to another man by the way. I know that there is this law of averages that says,that the more wrongs you make,the right one is probably around the corner. Perhaps,to a certain extent that might be true…but it probably works well if you are just going through the motions. Ultimately,if you know what you want,you will know where to find them. Period. Kids apply this rule very well. They know which section of a shop to go to,to get their candies. They do not shop around like us adults. Get that damn thing of getting the right one sorted out,then move on with life to achieve your personal succcess. Besides,married men are hotter. (as indulged by a survey) Hahah. But do not take my word for it guys. You’ll understand my train of thoughts. When you go through years of loving someone,just to have her leave you at the drop of a hat,you’ll understand,that the only way to live is to decide for yourself. As an animal,moral conscience is non existent. But as a fellow human being,the least you could be afforded is an explanation. With all due respect,I’m just being personal. Every games have rules. I’m just saying guys,start playing the games ethically and decide to win,because you never know when the other half might just wanna tweak the rules.

In the caveman sociology scheme of things,women goes for the strongest in the tribe. But perceptive strength is very different from brute strength. If you ever watched an old show entitled,”Caveman” starring Ringo Starr,you’ll probably identify with me on this. In that movie,Ringo’s character was vilified and scrutinised because he seemed the typical loser sorta character. But what he lacked in strength,he made up with quick wit and boundless energy. Needless to say,the story climaxed with this chap taking control of his herd of tribe by sheer courage and cleverness. And guess what the dimwit dimbo who did not believe in Ringo wanted at the end of the day? His companionship of course. But, Ringo knew who were the ones who stayed by him throughout his journey of self empowerment,and the special someone who encouraged him. So,he chose the right path of making that believing lady,his queen. Not that sneering,undecided lady. Hahah.

Mario Hernandez sang,”If you were mine,I’ll be your everything…”. I’m always amused by the superlative of “IF” being used in the context of relationships. “If you love me,I will…if you are faithful,I’ll be faithful too…if you are mine,then I’ll change…blah,blah…” The simplest non commital way to avoid nasty confrontations. If things work out between us,then we can talk about marriage. Sigh. Hahaha.

A broken record still plays that song albeit interruptions. Think about it.

shut up and drive

My entries had of recently been received in a not so favourable light. Perhaps some quarters felt that I was being personal. Perhaps some felt the direct corelations. As always asserted, I never make any personal or direct associations. Any similar occurences were perhaps coincidental. Everyone has a life. So it might be noteworthy,that for those who might have felt that their lives were of absolute importance for me to write about,I guess the flattery of yourselves are at best unfounded. I am at best just a person who pens down my perspectives and unreserved views on matters. Think of me,as an uneducated Homer,Plato or Socrates. They wrote the plights and wisdom of the humankind unabashedly. So until one finds his name written in bold faced times new roman typeface,spare me the delusions. I’m not interested in you. And if at best one does feel the need to object,retort or comment on my entries,I find the self flattery indulging. I do not need to be validated. I am just happy that somehow,you felt inspired.

So much for people. I guess touching on the subjects of emotional primates are more worthy. Anyhow,on a positive light,everything else moves forward. Like how Beyonce used to wail,”…so don’t you ever for a second,get to think that you are irreplacable…”I guess the normality of life is such that,what dies,lives again. What withers,grows again. Just like friendship. There are exceptions though. I have to admittedly confess that I do not truly have that circle of social associates to call about for a cup of coffee for no apparent reasons. My friends are countable by the number of fingers and toes that I have. But the ones that I have now are the ones I love. Not love,love obviously. It’s the real,unconditional love kinda thing. People whom you’ll always think about,hoping and praying for in your daily prayers. People whose name rings that bittersweet jingle in your ears. Obviously my bro Kai,is one of those premium dude. Sometimes my mind just fades into that far distant future of how incomplete it will probably feel if he goes away or something like that,in whatever capacity. Because throughout the years of friendship,bonds are forged in a manner incomprehensible. Still remember that one fateful night when I just received news that my girlfriend was cheating on me,and I was literally sobbing and crying like nobody under her block,and this one hell of a pal came riding on his bike all the way from home to console me. Guess that was the first and only time I sobbed on a man’s shoulder. After which we proceeded in the cold of the night to have a warm glass of tea at Changi Point. This kinda moments stick in the mind like a 3M adhesive. I can probaby admit to having chalked up the most man hours on his bike over the years. Haha. Even at this senile stage of young adulthood,we make the week complete with that frequent visits to Cineleisure for a movie or ego thrashing session of Xbox. Perhaps,writing a ‘summons’ letter to be pasted on two girls’ motorbike accounts as those funny inspirational moments. Nowadays,being in the capacity as his financial planner also brings an element of pride and responsibility,as I’m making it a personal mission to at least ascertain that himself and his family are well taken care of. I used to have reservations,but that has been replaced with the certainty that this is the least I could do,for all the years of friendship he had provided. Because I will rather be that individual, providing sustenance and comfort for him and his family,than anyone else. My career allows that,so why not.

Touching on that it still astounds me how as of recently,some friends rejected my approaches with regards to their planning. Some of the objections cited were,”Why should I be providing you with commission with that premium?”Initially,I felt defensive and insulted with their scant disrespect,until recently when a conviction just came and I told this discerning individuals,”…for your info,your premiums has no direct relation to how I earn my keeps,cause it is my company that pays me accordingly to the value of sales I bring about as a whole. Your premiums are of a proportionate ratio that of what you financially require. Logically said,if you were to even pay the  presumed hefty sum of X dollars,the company will compensate me for a withdrawing amount over a period of 6 years,yet I am of service to you for the rest of your life and beyond? So let me pose this question,I’m paid by my company to service you for that X dollars which could run into millions,wherelse my compensation does not even run into 1% of your covered amount,who is providing who?” The silence was deafening,but I did hope I got my humble message across. It’s like telling a Mcdonalds employee that you will not pay $1.80 for a cheeseburger,because you don’t want t pay for his wages. Haha. That boy who earns $3.50 an hour earns his keeps from the company irregardless of how many burgers he sold over the hour. So why be a bitching prospect,I will never understand.As I’ve always mentioned,you probably need the coverage more than I need that 40% of your premiums. Haha. My clients are always right,only on the basis of sound judgement. Crude assumptions are similar to primates’ instincts of picking lice over each other. Anyhow,not everyone deserves to be saved. Superman saves everyone,one at a time.

I keep having recent flashbacks of sitting by boat quay,looking at the

fullerton

. Liz,always enquires me on my fascination and obsession with a picture I took of myself in front of that hotel. I do not know why or how to answer that question,but in

fullerton

,a symbol of accomplishment is served. And something within me always gives me that vibrating notion of being there for something,an event of some sort. It’s like,I’m meant to sleep in one of that room or host an event or something. Cannot put a word yet. But I do know that whenever I pass by that area,a gush of warm blood shoots through my veins. Obviously,my wedding is not gonna be that event. Duh. My cynical mum used to laugh,”Why decide to get married so early?” Not getting wedded at

Fullerton

is probably a disappointment,certainly not a failure. It’s not exactly a doomsday factor,but it does allow me that area of perspective. Something’s gonna happen at

Fullerton

for me,just not so sure yet as to what it is. Still remember the $10.50 passon fruit drink I had there. It was night time robbery.

Some friends of mine have been welcoming in their thoughts about my marriage. Their excitement makes me feel overwhelmed sometimes. Heh. Even my mom thinks I’m disinterested. The fact is not actually. Am looking forward,but not to the whole merriment that marriage is supposedly proposed to entail. I am a pragmatic husband. There is a reason why it is called solemnization. It’s a solemn conclusion to the fantasies and the entry of that thing called responsibility. Sometimes Liz engages me in that thought provoking idea of why I do not indulge her in her wants,like how she believes,I did with my past relations or encounters with women. And my answer is,”You’ve gotta wait.”You see,I have this personal view and visualised concept that,I will indulge my family over time. Anything they want,I’ll probably work my socks off. My priority will be absolutely focused on that aspect. My marriage course trainer once mentioned that getting married is like starting a business. I totally agree. If I were to run things on that basis,I know for a certain that being prudent financially,without sacrificing necessity,is of absolute importance.I’m glad to personally realise that my personal financial and expenses planning is improving.It’s a process. Am definitely confident that given the time to mature,I will afford that dream home,car and whatsoever nots. It’s just that like all businesses,to truly see providence and profit,a threshold period of 5 years is minimum industry standard. That is why I am not truly fazed by claims,assertions and tales of couples indulging each other in holiday trips or car or whatever bling bling. If affordability is a factor,am sure with any given time,everyone will be able to do so. What is important for me in a marriage though,is the vision and mission statement my wife and kids will adhere to. I hope that my marriage will be based on the sound basis of principled living,rather than affordable living. I will be rich,God willing,through hard work and dilligence eventually. But the process of self and family development has to start now. So marriage has been interesting,not necessarily exciting for me. My self discovery has been marvelous. I enjoy that monthly trip to G value to grab those below $2 toiletries bargains,playing photo hunts at arcades,catching up on weekly movies,indulging in food,occasional self shopping,borrowing books at the libraries and just watching soccer or movies on cable. Simple. Yet eventful. That is why,I have the absolute faith that with time as my career and Liz’s improve and peak,the standard of enjoying life will be refined and distinguished. While those struggle with the monthly dilemma’s,God willing I’ll be taking that desired cruise. The excitement and merriment should not climax on the wedding. It should be a climatic journey always.

To perhaps highlight an importat point,in keeping the faith,is of the recent purchase of an MP3 player. I’ve always wanted a player over the period of 3-4 years. I’ve borrowed and used others’s like my brother’s. Never my own. Somehow recently,the desire escalated and I visited many electronic shops countless times over the period of 6 months or so,looking at the players,but never purchasing them. Until that fateful day,when I decided,and lo and behold,I spent a mere 5 minutes to purchase one. It was not a question of affordability,but rather the momentum of coming to a conclusive decision,that was gratifying and satisfying. It felt good. A purchase that had 100% satisfaction ringing. I kept my faith,analyse again and again and again of whether it’s a real need or just mere desire. Liz always says that I’m a fussy shopper. I’ll visit that same shop over and over again. Haha. Well,consider this. I bought 3 tee shirts that initially cost $18 each,at only $20 for 3. All I did was to keep coming back to that shop frequently over a week. See what a week does. Haha. Call me cheapskate,I say,nobody asks how much my tees cost. I know what’s value for money.

In conclusion,my take is,”if your life is worth living the way you think it should be,why talk about it?if your life has a purpose,does that purpose has a life?”Think about it.