There was a freaking period in time when I wanted so much to understand the female species. The reason? Know thy enemy and half the battle is won. An innate frustration used to fill the very core of my existence. Years ago, when I was promptly left without any apparent reason by the woman that I loved, I built a wall of hard resistance. Devoid of emotions, I went on a pyschological rampage.
Sometimes I worry about the state of liberalism, certain quarters of people can seem o possess. The desire to be somebody else at the expense of losing one’s identity can be such a seduction. You aspire to be someone else. Someone of a higher stature. Yet, a peek at your identity card, shows you the stark reality. You dream of the days, when you hope that your current involvement and indulgence with a certain lifestyle will reciprocate itself into a wonderful life, where maids come and serve at your beck and call, husbands and wives listening to your whims and cries and constant complaints,where friends call you in for neverending ecstacies of shopping and soccer and things falling into places like sweet dreams coming true and other fanciful things.
If I were to reflect solemly back on that fragile element called time, I realised how investments of time on the ones you love can be such a drag. Sometimes, people fail to appreciate the time element,because as childish as it may sound,these people may feel that the time is an entitlement for them when they are in a relationship. I agree and disagree. I agree,that it can be an entitlement…but only to a deserving partner. If not,it’s an utter waste of time. Period.It pains me at times when I dissect the chronological aspects of relationships.
I loathe a time when people could perhaps one day have the audacity,to just claim that during a period of a long relationship,there were periods of non emotive involvement and it was just purely about going through the motions.How fake and how low then goes the value of sentiments?
If one were to freeze and encapsule a brief moment in their life and asked themselves,
Why I got myself into this relationship in the first place and place a comparison beside the justification as to why it had to end,it will be incomprehensible. When one fell in love,one had a million reasons to validate the emotions. When one is seduced and tempted into the joyful nature of singlehood,one stutters to find a damn hell of a good reason. One cites incorrigible differences,needing time to sort out priorities,”it’s just me”syndroms,career first,commitment later and a whole load of bull. One begins to finally realise how life is better. More beautiful. More radiant. More hopeful of the future. Funny. Cause,one had all that before he or she got into the relationship. Yet,at the beginning,one describes the bliss of being in a relationship as better and more radiant than being single. What change? Perspectives,without a doubt. What’s the root cause? Lack of fundamental values. Women have a slight tendency to just fall into the pits of despair. The dilemma. Letting go,of security and hopeful stability,for the sights of freedom and independence. Because, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence,they presume. Admittedly,men has this tendency too.
It’s a viscious cycle.
To my three pals who might be reading this entry,take heart. Endings do not necessarily represent inadequacies on your part. It was meant to happen,because the natural progression of life is that,what begins has to end. In whatever way and whenever it can be. But,please do not lose your way. As I mentioned before,the one who leaves or calls it quits,does it because of inefficient life management skills or just have that tinge of emotional lack. Everyone has their own coping stance. For your respective partners,maybe quitting and moving to perceived better horizon is the best coping stance for them. They will have to attempt to magnify and escalate the enjoyment factors in their lives,because that’s the only way to show and validate themselves that the decision call they made was the right one. You cannot expect them to mop around and wail their hearts out,after they are the ones calling it quits right?Expect them to enjoy their lives.Expect them to be in the company of their supportive and encouraging friends. Expect them to hail the quality of their lives. There is nothing wrong with all that. It’s just their way of coping. If you give baboons the liberty to live in the wild, do you think they’ll stay as tame as they are when they are in cages. Expect them to get new friends. Expect them to get new toys. Expect them to exclaim new life philosophies. Expect them to paste new pictures of themselves all over the place. Expect them to be doing whatever life has to offer. Just expect that life had suddenly turn out best for them. That’s a start for you.
You know what’s my take from a personal point of view? Relationships are like towns in a long journey. Sometimes you stop there for a while. Sometimes you stay there for long. Sometimes, the memories there are fond. Sometimes the memories there are gory. But all towns,will become derelict one day. So one day,when you have moved on to a better town,and you decide to take a spin back and find the town derelict,do not be surprised. It’s just meant to be like that naturally. If you wanna capture the essence of a really excellent town,filled with your own values and goodness,start from scratch and build a town yourself. You will gain satisfaction from that. I always loved to think of myself as the “what if” element in people’s lives. Some might have played me out.Some might have cheated and became a philandering bitch behind me. Some might have just been a pain in the ass. There are nights when my dreams are filled with angst and pain of not resolving some issues.Sometimes I just get scared to face the coming day. But you know what?I take it within my stride that my concept of GOD+ME will work in my favours.Like any RPG(Role Playing Games),I’m meant to evolve over time. To gain experience points and powerful skills to advance to the next level. Small ogres a.k.a dimwits in my life has been slain before,and they will be slain in the near future. Everyone has their own mission and quest to live out and win for. In this small world of unpredictabilities,just hope and pray that those enemies or foes of mine do not cross my paths yet again. I would have grown so much…my powers would have grown so much too. And God willing,my 3 pals too.
Ps: Life is not fucked up. People are.