shut up and drive

My entries had of recently been received in a not so favourable light. Perhaps some quarters felt that I was being personal. Perhaps some felt the direct corelations. As always asserted, I never make any personal or direct associations. Any similar occurences were perhaps coincidental. Everyone has a life. So it might be noteworthy,that for those who might have felt that their lives were of absolute importance for me to write about,I guess the flattery of yourselves are at best unfounded. I am at best just a person who pens down my perspectives and unreserved views on matters. Think of me,as an uneducated Homer,Plato or Socrates. They wrote the plights and wisdom of the humankind unabashedly. So until one finds his name written in bold faced times new roman typeface,spare me the delusions. I’m not interested in you. And if at best one does feel the need to object,retort or comment on my entries,I find the self flattery indulging. I do not need to be validated. I am just happy that somehow,you felt inspired.

So much for people. I guess touching on the subjects of emotional primates are more worthy. Anyhow,on a positive light,everything else moves forward. Like how Beyonce used to wail,”…so don’t you ever for a second,get to think that you are irreplacable…”I guess the normality of life is such that,what dies,lives again. What withers,grows again. Just like friendship. There are exceptions though. I have to admittedly confess that I do not truly have that circle of social associates to call about for a cup of coffee for no apparent reasons. My friends are countable by the number of fingers and toes that I have. But the ones that I have now are the ones I love. Not love,love obviously. It’s the real,unconditional love kinda thing. People whom you’ll always think about,hoping and praying for in your daily prayers. People whose name rings that bittersweet jingle in your ears. Obviously my bro Kai,is one of those premium dude. Sometimes my mind just fades into that far distant future of how incomplete it will probably feel if he goes away or something like that,in whatever capacity. Because throughout the years of friendship,bonds are forged in a manner incomprehensible. Still remember that one fateful night when I just received news that my girlfriend was cheating on me,and I was literally sobbing and crying like nobody under her block,and this one hell of a pal came riding on his bike all the way from home to console me. Guess that was the first and only time I sobbed on a man’s shoulder. After which we proceeded in the cold of the night to have a warm glass of tea at Changi Point. This kinda moments stick in the mind like a 3M adhesive. I can probaby admit to having chalked up the most man hours on his bike over the years. Haha. Even at this senile stage of young adulthood,we make the week complete with that frequent visits to Cineleisure for a movie or ego thrashing session of Xbox. Perhaps,writing a ‘summons’ letter to be pasted on two girls’ motorbike accounts as those funny inspirational moments. Nowadays,being in the capacity as his financial planner also brings an element of pride and responsibility,as I’m making it a personal mission to at least ascertain that himself and his family are well taken care of. I used to have reservations,but that has been replaced with the certainty that this is the least I could do,for all the years of friendship he had provided. Because I will rather be that individual, providing sustenance and comfort for him and his family,than anyone else. My career allows that,so why not.

Touching on that it still astounds me how as of recently,some friends rejected my approaches with regards to their planning. Some of the objections cited were,”Why should I be providing you with commission with that premium?”Initially,I felt defensive and insulted with their scant disrespect,until recently when a conviction just came and I told this discerning individuals,”…for your info,your premiums has no direct relation to how I earn my keeps,cause it is my company that pays me accordingly to the value of sales I bring about as a whole. Your premiums are of a proportionate ratio that of what you financially require. Logically said,if you were to even pay the  presumed hefty sum of X dollars,the company will compensate me for a withdrawing amount over a period of 6 years,yet I am of service to you for the rest of your life and beyond? So let me pose this question,I’m paid by my company to service you for that X dollars which could run into millions,wherelse my compensation does not even run into 1% of your covered amount,who is providing who?” The silence was deafening,but I did hope I got my humble message across. It’s like telling a Mcdonalds employee that you will not pay $1.80 for a cheeseburger,because you don’t want t pay for his wages. Haha. That boy who earns $3.50 an hour earns his keeps from the company irregardless of how many burgers he sold over the hour. So why be a bitching prospect,I will never understand.As I’ve always mentioned,you probably need the coverage more than I need that 40% of your premiums. Haha. My clients are always right,only on the basis of sound judgement. Crude assumptions are similar to primates’ instincts of picking lice over each other. Anyhow,not everyone deserves to be saved. Superman saves everyone,one at a time.

I keep having recent flashbacks of sitting by boat quay,looking at the


. Liz,always enquires me on my fascination and obsession with a picture I took of myself in front of that hotel. I do not know why or how to answer that question,but in


,a symbol of accomplishment is served. And something within me always gives me that vibrating notion of being there for something,an event of some sort. It’s like,I’m meant to sleep in one of that room or host an event or something. Cannot put a word yet. But I do know that whenever I pass by that area,a gush of warm blood shoots through my veins. Obviously,my wedding is not gonna be that event. Duh. My cynical mum used to laugh,”Why decide to get married so early?” Not getting wedded at


is probably a disappointment,certainly not a failure. It’s not exactly a doomsday factor,but it does allow me that area of perspective. Something’s gonna happen at


for me,just not so sure yet as to what it is. Still remember the $10.50 passon fruit drink I had there. It was night time robbery.

Some friends of mine have been welcoming in their thoughts about my marriage. Their excitement makes me feel overwhelmed sometimes. Heh. Even my mom thinks I’m disinterested. The fact is not actually. Am looking forward,but not to the whole merriment that marriage is supposedly proposed to entail. I am a pragmatic husband. There is a reason why it is called solemnization. It’s a solemn conclusion to the fantasies and the entry of that thing called responsibility. Sometimes Liz engages me in that thought provoking idea of why I do not indulge her in her wants,like how she believes,I did with my past relations or encounters with women. And my answer is,”You’ve gotta wait.”You see,I have this personal view and visualised concept that,I will indulge my family over time. Anything they want,I’ll probably work my socks off. My priority will be absolutely focused on that aspect. My marriage course trainer once mentioned that getting married is like starting a business. I totally agree. If I were to run things on that basis,I know for a certain that being prudent financially,without sacrificing necessity,is of absolute importance.I’m glad to personally realise that my personal financial and expenses planning is improving.It’s a process. Am definitely confident that given the time to mature,I will afford that dream home,car and whatsoever nots. It’s just that like all businesses,to truly see providence and profit,a threshold period of 5 years is minimum industry standard. That is why I am not truly fazed by claims,assertions and tales of couples indulging each other in holiday trips or car or whatever bling bling. If affordability is a factor,am sure with any given time,everyone will be able to do so. What is important for me in a marriage though,is the vision and mission statement my wife and kids will adhere to. I hope that my marriage will be based on the sound basis of principled living,rather than affordable living. I will be rich,God willing,through hard work and dilligence eventually. But the process of self and family development has to start now. So marriage has been interesting,not necessarily exciting for me. My self discovery has been marvelous. I enjoy that monthly trip to G value to grab those below $2 toiletries bargains,playing photo hunts at arcades,catching up on weekly movies,indulging in food,occasional self shopping,borrowing books at the libraries and just watching soccer or movies on cable. Simple. Yet eventful. That is why,I have the absolute faith that with time as my career and Liz’s improve and peak,the standard of enjoying life will be refined and distinguished. While those struggle with the monthly dilemma’s,God willing I’ll be taking that desired cruise. The excitement and merriment should not climax on the wedding. It should be a climatic journey always.

To perhaps highlight an importat point,in keeping the faith,is of the recent purchase of an MP3 player. I’ve always wanted a player over the period of 3-4 years. I’ve borrowed and used others’s like my brother’s. Never my own. Somehow recently,the desire escalated and I visited many electronic shops countless times over the period of 6 months or so,looking at the players,but never purchasing them. Until that fateful day,when I decided,and lo and behold,I spent a mere 5 minutes to purchase one. It was not a question of affordability,but rather the momentum of coming to a conclusive decision,that was gratifying and satisfying. It felt good. A purchase that had 100% satisfaction ringing. I kept my faith,analyse again and again and again of whether it’s a real need or just mere desire. Liz always says that I’m a fussy shopper. I’ll visit that same shop over and over again. Haha. Well,consider this. I bought 3 tee shirts that initially cost $18 each,at only $20 for 3. All I did was to keep coming back to that shop frequently over a week. See what a week does. Haha. Call me cheapskate,I say,nobody asks how much my tees cost. I know what’s value for money.

In conclusion,my take is,”if your life is worth living the way you think it should be,why talk about it?if your life has a purpose,does that purpose has a life?”Think about it.