need a batam break.

"Could it take just distance to complicate our love? Would you dare to be willing to share it and let someone else be a part? I know it might sound crazy,with all that we’ve been through. Tell me what am I supposed to do…" – Intrigue

this lyrics were heard way back when i was in my secondary school years. never did i imagine that the validity of the lyrics will stay on even throughout the years in my adulthood.sometimes,it can be such an emotional torture when you look at a familiar face,noting how he/she smiles,and wondering to yourself those irrational questions of "what ifs".but life is not and never will be about the what ifs.it’s about what is and will be.

monsta mentioned that somethings are just difficult to comprehend,yet to be explained.a fact which i noted with caution.cause somewhere deep,i comprehend,yet i will not bother or want to explain.equality in understanding is a myth.someone who says i understand,is just bull shitting.the more i looked at monsta,the more i realised just how much of a human being i can be at times.vulnerable.hopeful.weak.leads me to belive in the Greater Power,that is God.

can one love someone beyond the normalities of having to be married off to that person?is the one you finally marry the one you truly love?questions i love to think about from an external point of view,but never an internal perspective.individuals like monsta who has the steadfast nature of willing resolution needing a life partner?monsta can live alone.but that is not how life is supposed to be.one still needs the comforts and warmth of another.not necessarily,anyone.but at least someone.

i’ve been thinking.

tomorrow,i’m gonna appear on tv for the first time in my life.okay,it’s the third time actually.but a first from the perspective of being the focal point.the thing that made me so humbled was in realising,that my wife’s prayers,played a part.months back,an individual came out in the newspaper,and i lamented to myself about wishing to be on the pages of the paper.she chided me by saying that she will pray and be sure that i’ll be on tv.i scoffed the idea.three weeks on,and the opportunity presented itself in the unlikeliest of circumstances.humbling.law of attraction working its magic.kinda scary but eventful.

anyway,my thoughts have been filled and ravaged with thoughts on quitting my football team.the team is losing its essence.it’s unlike me to quit on a team unless i feel strongly enough about something.cannot pinpoint the exact reason but i think all i need is a good break from playing with them.perhaps,someone’s invitation to have me play for a second division outfit sparked it off.but then again,maybe i’m just being too analytical of the team’s performance.

on a last sweet note,at least,i got a reply from abang abu with regards to my proposal for the public speaking course.i truly don’t care how it’s gonna be done,i intend to get it done.

oh yeah…my pal wan and salmi just got a healthy baby girl.congrats.lovely couple.beautiful family.

ps: need a batam break…

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