I Have A Suggestion.

I learned something useful.Something called Euphemism.A language tool so often used,yet so distinctly unrecognizable.Our community loves to use it in abundance especially when it comes to describing their quality of life.

A euphemism is the substitution of an agreeable or less offensive expression in place of one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant to the listener; or in the case of doublespeak, to make it less troublesome for the speaker. It also may be a substitution of a description of something or someone rather than the name, to avoid revealing secret, holy, or sacred names to the uninitiated, or to obscure the identity of the subject of a conversation from potential eavesdroppers. Some euphemisms are intended to be funny.

Consider these examples:

Janitor : Sanitary Engineer, Maintenance Executive, Product Management Supervisor

Clerk : Administration Executive, Personal Assistant, Secretary

Accounts Clerk : Pre Audit Executive, Accountant, Auditing Executive

Security Guard : Safety Officer, Legal Enforcer, Security Executive

…and many others,in the context of careers.

For Death…

…to meet the Creator

…having lived a full life

…at his breath’s end

…ascending his ancestral home

…came to a full circle

Interesting eh.

How to use Euphemism with a sexual innuendo?

End every sentence with,”…if you know what I mean!”,or,”…I’m sure you get what I’m driving at!”.

Example…”Well,that was a hot and sweaty day Lisa…if you know what I mean!”

or,”I sure can use some love in this room…if you know what I mean.”

It’s an interesting language tool I’m gonna try to use at every opportunity.(if you know what I mean)

My probable favorites,

In soccer,

“That was a good goal!” – Even a blind man could have scored that

“You did well to get at the end of the pass.”-Just in case you didn’t notice,I was the one who passed the ball

“We can do better in the next game!”-Even the women’s team would have thrashed you today

“Hard luck guys”-You are all just crap

In Life

“You are in touch with your emotional facet.”-Sensitive loser

“You have the capacity to grasp things over time.”-Slow idiot

“You will flourish in life if given time.”-Hopeless fool

“You can make a difference.”-Try harder,dimwit

“I would love to have you around.”-When I’m bored,I’ll call you

“You are different from other men/women.”-Freaking insecure aren’t you

“We are better off as friends.”-I cannot imagine waking up beside you

“You will find the right one.”-Only God can help you now

“You  made the difference.”-That’s just formal credit

Gosh.I love Euphemisms.

ps:Thank you Rachit for introducing me to the world of Euphemisms.Up next…sarcasms.(if you know what I mean!)


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