Watching Troy over on Channel 5 on a Saturday whilst the wife is lulled by Brad Pitt’s butt,has proven to be something I silently enjoyed.Well,although I do not share her fascination for Pitt’s butt,I am keenly aware also that Angelina Jolie has that privilege of squeezing it every night.Nevertheless,my butt’s worth squeezing too.
Anyway,I appreciate war epics like Troy.Though fictional,I find it engaging.I’ve always loved war stories,especially those that depict medieval and ancient plots.I find it more worthy than a bunch of soldiers,repelling down a helicopter,trying to find non weapons of mass distractions.But that’s another entry altogether.
The heroes that make a war movie are worth their salt.Achilles,Hector,Alexander,King Arthur,Maximus and Aragon are just one of the many personalities just worth being around,if they exist anyway.One thing that resonates between these men,is that thing called,LEADERSHIP.
Perhaps,it’s a forgotten but known fact that Leaders are Men.But rarely can we find,Men who are Leaders.Well,of course if you wish to term people who sit behind their desks,bellowing instructions for men to follow,as leaders,that is indeed your bet.But I prefer the experiential leadership.The kind who walks,eats and sleeps with his men.The kind who rushes to challenges first head on as an example to emulate.Very hard to find these kind of Men these days.To come to think of it,it’s hard to find a man nowadays.
I personally feel that it’s a challenge to be a Man.What more a leader.I used to have this sickening thinking,during my dating days,that girls sometimes just chose the wrong kind of man.Still recall that instance,when a colleague of mine who knew that I was in the midst of dating someone,brashly claimed also that he had the hots for her.Now,the man in me then,relented and gave in to the idea that he proposed which was,”Jaz,let’s do our fair bits.Let her choose the best man.”I had grew up believing in that notion too.The Gone With The Wind kinda philosophy.But yes,I was doing a bit of mental risk calculation when I accepted that proposal.He has a car.I don’t.Let me see…hmmm…did he have anything else?Nope.Oh maybe,his exploits on the bed in a threesome may count,but silly me,did not have those sexual exploits to counter.So there I was,man to man,with a behemoth of a jerk,in the race for the attention of a girl.
Well,of course I lost.I did not have a car to bring the booty back home on dates.I only had cab fares to justify my selflessness.Heh.So,did the Helen of Troy chose the best man?Not necessarily.He was at best,a better man,seen through the pirate patched eye of a woman.Ever since then,I’ve learned a few things in the war for hearts.
1.Objectives of war,are at best fickle and undefined.
2.It’s all right to lose battles.
3.If a war is not worth fighting,do not fight for it.
4.The glorified hero,need not necessarily win the war.
…which in my assumed case,is spot on with me.Heh.
I’ve asked my wife once,if she though that I was a weak husband?(In the earlier months of the marriage,I think.)And the thing was that I appreciated her brutal,honest and insightful answer.”There are moments,when yes,I find you to be a very weak man and husband.”It has nothing to do with any physical prowess…but,the fact remained that there were dysfunctional traits about me,which she found.I had a profound sense of a wake up call,then and there.I was neither angry nor sad.I was just in that amplified mode of realizing something true.I have my Achilles heel.
What I appreciated about the statement was that,it came from a woman.My wife to be exact.My first deep thinking response was,”Shit!She has lost her respect for me.”Then,that Divine inspiration,flooded me which said,”Of course Jaz!How the hell do you lead a house,when you cannot even fulfill your obligatory prayers.”Hahaha.I knew it!God tend to take the gloss and shine off a Man when he fails to do that.Point taken.Secondly,I realize also that,love does not have to be equated with the compromising of principles.You know how sometimes Man just gives in for that sake of giving in?Lesson number two.Respect comes out of an unwavering and defined set of values.Not stubbornness.It’s about sticking to the right values.Women,generally appreciates that.Watching Troy,I found it in abundance with Hector’s and Achilles’s character.Honor,beliefs and respect.They grew into the various roles assigned by Life’s defaults.
Unfortunately,some of us Men may be fooled into thinking that we are blessed with God given rights just because we wear those armor.Worse still,are those women who sticks by blindly,by these kinda warriors.(figurative speaking).If the women never makes it an effort to remind these foolhardy men of the need to learn,train and apply the responsibilities of the roles,what you will have is a legion of Men,so sexist and biased,you’ll wish they will just rot and die.(or die and rot for the matter)
Anyway,back to my story.That small realization then that I may have weaknesses just woke me up.So I keep a rain check on my subconscious mind nowadays to aspire to become a better Man.I feel that I shall never have to ask that question again,or have it told to me again.It was a good lesson.Even leaders were followers once.
On my theories about love,it’s fairly simple.Too bad,I cannot apply my learnings anymore.Hahaha.If I were to have learned such lessons back then,I would have gone for the women who had the uncanny ability to recognize the leadership principles I had.Not for the size of my manhood,brain or car.But that woman who would have challenged my principles in Life,not to spite me,but to test how well I stick to them.A woman who is not afraid to tell me that I can be the best man for her,only if I work at being better myself.All these Kahuunah about women choosing their men are very much arcane.A man should make himself out to be the obvious choice.Not to be the one among the choices.I made that grave mistake.I guess,if I had chosen someone back then too,it should have been the woman who made herself be the obvious choice,not among my choices.cause it takes effort and leadership to climb up that heap.
That is why sometimes,I just enjoy that walk down the boulevards of Orchard with Kai,observing.Observing for those signs of weaknesses,in guys,with a girl around his arms.Because,there is this sadistic part in me which also reminds me that what he has around him is just a won battle,not necessarily the war of hearts.All it will probably take,in his moments of conceited folly,is a slight nudge and he will have lost that war.If you get what I mean.
In a nutshell,I am perhaps also trying to insinuate that Men have greater challenges than hey thought they had.Financially,spiritually,emotionally and intellectually.I personally detest guys who lose that vibrancy about challenges once they are married.It’s not fair to cite stability as the hindrance for personal growth.These same people probably forgot how they tried to better themselves whilst dating for fear of losing out.Once they are in that safe house of a marriage,they go on that declining path of achieving a beer belly and a traveler’s presumed wisdom.The “I’ve done it all”syndrome.
Eurggggh.Pray to God,I will always be on the wayward side of self improvement.I owe the world an updated version of Hijazi every day.
Coming to think of it,I have an Achilles Heel.But,what it is,it’s not revealed to me yet.But like I mentioned,the awaiting challenges just makes me unaware of this flaw.Too engrossed in looking outside,I sometimes forget that it’s the power within me,that changes everything.(Wow.I sound like Neo from the Matrix)
What if my Achilles heel is really Mia Rose?(I know.Delusional again.My sister.My mother.My wife.All are in the anti Mia society).