Being In The Red

My Redbacks team has been discussing fervently on the feasibility of joining a social league.As I gave my inputs,and then reflecting on the various responses,I just had to sigh with a sense of resignation.I forgot that I’m playing with a Malay outfit,that has the inclination that enjoyment is just a byproduct of passion.I had raised the issues of financial appeal being a crucial element in joining the league.I mean,a game in a social league,entails $100.Spread that over say,approximately 5 months/20 weeks max,it totals to around $2000.The unique thing about Redbacks is the policy of subsidizing fee amounts for those players bracketed in the category of non salaried.Meaning that they are either students,or in betweens,like my bro Aki.Maybe it’s just me.But I’ve been trying to rationalize why players need to be subsidize?If we were to go on trips,such as the one in Mersing,where players can afford $50 for a one off trip,is that not amounting to $10,spread over 5 weeks?Hmmmm.Just my financial planning getting the better of me.Wahahaha.

Why is this worth a mention?It was highlighted by my captain that the extra financial obligations had been borne,by himself,manager and Hisham.Kudos for the kindness,but my rhetoric question is,is it necessary in the first place?Perhaps,my education years in football taught me that,accountability is vital in that grey area called commitment.My captain mentioned that commitment on their part of coming down for games with expenses incurred is already justified.My rhetorical question again is,is not everybody doing the same too?Traveling to games?Expenses incurred?I’m not exactly a selfish bastard to not realize the financial implications,asking students/in betweens to pay.I’m concerned about the principles behind the fish giving.Captain mentioned that they had attempted to pay with whatever money they had left.I say,good.Take it.Whatever the amount is.The principle behind it is vital.

It’s the overlooking of such matters that have prompted players who left the team to say things like,”I’m a paying personnel,yet I don’t play enough…blah…blah…”We can call them whiners for all we can,but it is a true flip side of the coin that beckons the question,”What made them say that?”.Obviously a sense of injustice.I mean,truth be told,why am I shortchanging my personal enjoyment and development,by being at the expense of the team?That must have been the issue that prompted their departure.

I’ve been trying to make my voice being heard on this matter for quite a while,but I guess the draconian ethics of team over anything else take precedence.It’s a shame though,when Chinese playing teams,fresh out of secondary schools,are competing in leagues at their own individual expenses.No benefactors.As what was cited by a player,about money,if there is a will,there is a way.Agreed.But not everyone who has a will,bother to find a way.

Fact is,I’ve been thinking about sponsoring my team,in a small token way or another.But I’ll shelve my plans for now.Where there is a will,there is a way.I have my ways,but I do not have the will yet.

My conclusion is,fuck it lah.Might as well,trouble my little brain with constructive thoughts.Bothering myself thinking about a team’s implications is an utter waste of time.If the time comes when I receive little value on the money and time invested,diversify lah(ie play somewhere else).Nothing personal.Just pragmatic choices.The team over personal self ideal is applicable only when there is an overwhelming sense of gratification.I’ve played with my Stamford FC team for 10 years and the team’s personnel has not changed a bit,and we never miss a Friday kickabout.Hahaha.There are some things in life that needs to take a backseat at times.

I’m also learning not to speak up for people.Like my bro Aki,who had been utilized in other positions to accommodate personnel shortages.I sometimes marvel at such individuals.The selfless acts of compromising.I will perhaps compromise,once and twice.But thrice and above,only serves to indicate my weakness at not stamping my own set of beliefs and principles.If I believe I’m a striker,hell no,will anybody convince me with resounding accolades that I play better somewhere else.I guess Aki is an exception.I can never be him.Heh.

So,am I gonna sulk and whine?Of course not.I’m bigger than all that.As I mentioned,if there is any tinge of dissatisfaction on my part,I’ve got the proactive choice of seeking what’s better for me.I do not have to be the victim of social/group conformity.Life is too short to stop and play the blaming game.If I am in the position of those who leaves the team,I’ll just shut up and enjoy the new lease of freedom playing elsewhere.Hehehe.

With the team’s impending inclusion into the league,I’m just going to concentrate on the areas of my enjoyment in the Beautiful Game.My fitness,my playability and my afford ability. All other issues are miscellaneous.

All these shenanigans make me appreciate the simplistic nature of taking a ball with two friends and kicking about.No fuss no frills,they say.

Redbacks: You’ll Never Crawl Alone


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