This may be a bit premature but I was just thinking through the realms of my thoughts,should that day of reckoning finally arrives,when my son will be in his teens,grappling with the emotional facets of his unstable heart.He will be faced with unrecognizable fluttering and unfamiliar churning in his system.He might be looking for some sort of guide.Answers to his questions.Questions that I myself had to answer,on my own without the help of a fatherly figure.Obviously I had to rough it out in the wilderness of that thing called experience.All for that elusive search for that one thing called “true love”.Well,by now it’s pretty obvious that the whole notion is blasphemous.In my perspective at least.
But here I am,trying to assemble a piece of simple guide for my son.What to look out for,and what to avoid.What to remember and what to forget.(Hah!)
Dear Son,here is a list on what to expect.
Lesson One: Look for a woman with self principles.
-It does not matter,if she insists on wearing red,every Friday night,if it makes her feel alive.Or if she insists that the sun rises in the West and sets in the East.If she has at least a principle she lives by,thank the heavens above.Because,you do not want to have fickleness later in the future,especially on bigger issues.
Lesson Two: Avoid the woman who believes in “women’s rights”
-Principles and beliefs are different.Beliefs may be grounded on baseless judgments.I am all for a woman having equal rights.But not at the expense of superiority and ridiculous allegations such as,”If you men can do it,so can I!”Try peeing standing up.I mean,it’s fair enough to have a voice,but a self respecting woman does not need to say that she can do whatever a man does.It’s from an experience.A woman told me,”Jaz,if you can fool around,just to prove to you,I’ll do the same!”Whatever.
Lesson Three: Do not hang around a woman who is still checking the market.
-It’s pretty obvious.Relationships are not commodities where you try to bang on the opportune time of “good pricing”.Ditch the areas of ambiguity,if you feel that there are competitions or the woman makes it known that there is.A self respecting man knows his value,as a long term investor.A long term investor does not invest in areas,that seems like the “hot picks”.He decides on his principles,values and long term goals.Besides,you know what competition does sometimes.It lowers the value.
Lesson Four: Acknowledge where it’s due.Admonish when needed.
-Ego is part of a man’s framework.But it does not warrant you going into that diabolical mode of looking like a lunatic,by saying that,”I’m going to teach her a lesson by not replying to her,since she did not reply to me.”Truth is,the woman of the 21st century do not really give a hoot.If the woman does infringe on your belief systems or principles,let her know objectively,without being confrontational.If she has high EQ (Emotional Quotient),she’ll understand the need for such things.If not,just look at it as that she had a rough childhood.At the same time,give her credit,if she bothers to text or call.It’s not her prerogative to think if you are a weirdo by doing so,but at least you have just credited yourself with being a gentleman.
Lesson Five: Express your wants and work on the needs
-I used to have this idealistic idea that the best relationship was the one that was transitional in nature.From friends,to close friends,to platonic friendships,to intimacy and finally that big C,called confusion,(heh.not commitment).The thing is,women have this big disclaimer clause in most of their intimate encounters.It’s a defense mechanism actually.It’s that thing called,”..but I see you as a friend,I’m happy that you are my friend,etc”.I discovered this so many times but never got to apply it,that is till my wife came around that is.Cause what I should have done was establish the ground in this simple statement,”I am looking forward to having a great relationship with an individual like you eventually,(wants),but hey,we can always start out somewhere by being great friends first right?(needs).
Lesson Six: Never describe explicitly where you want to be in Life.
-Women who checks the market needs a basis.For comparison obviously.This is where balance plays an important part.I learned that divulging too much about your goals and dreams in life will,allow the woman to do a comparison check,for long term suitability.Worse,is if she shares those info with the other suitors.Let her know where you are in Life,specifically,but briefly touch on where you are going.And of course,cut down on those stories of where you’ve been.Honesty is a desperate policy.(sometimes).Anyway,woman instinctively still loves that mysterious,knight in shining armor kinda setting in their love story.Set the tone.
Lesson Seven: Think like Sherlock Holmes
-The whole idea of being with the woman is not to solve her mysterious ways,all in one go,even if you can.The thrill of a conquest,in winning her heart,lies in the chase.The way she made you look foolish,to the times you exclaimed “Eureka”.There is no win or lose situation.She loves being chased and you must love chasing.Basic physics.Think analytically,and add a tinge of creativity in your pursuits and be relentless with expressions of your emotions.Stay the course.
Lesson Seven.Five: Be the immaculate Man.
-Woman will come in various masks,and you’ll see a whole host of them…
2.Victims of Past Relationships types
3.Career First,Men Later types
4.Sweet,Innocent Last Woman On Earth types
5.Institutional of The Mental Kind types
6.Not Sure If You Are The One types
7.Have Fun,Commit Later types
8.The Order Of The Religious yet Conventional types
9.The Forever Friends types
10.my personal favorite,You Are A Jerk And I Cannot Be With You types.(they are just type 1 in disguise)
Who gives a personal shit if you encounter all these types?You still have to be a perfect gentleman and treat them right,like how a woman wants to be treated.The simple logic is this.Law of Averages.Out of the 10 types,one will definitely be just right.Wahahahaha.
And so my son,in years to come,you’ll thank Dad for having given you a brief insight on what to expect.Just know one thing my son.All women dream of wanting to be married.You just have to figure where you will fit in that equation.
Good Luck Son!