I had a Toastmasters meeting last night,in which I left early since the intended speaker I was to evaluate made a last minute disappearing act.Hate such moments but it’s those kind of unavoidable moments in life where things are just unexpected.Anyway,since the meeting was at Clarke Quay and the watched showed that I still had ample time,I decided to have my dinner.As I walked through the alleys of pubs and bars,a million images flooded the membranes of my memories.It’s been a while since I last stepped along the turf.
I decided to have my customary fried Maggie at a familiar Indian food outlet.My eyes were greeted by 4 attractive looking Malay ladies,having their dinner.With skirts and hot pants lining the curves on their bodies,it was not that hard to guess their agenda for the night.For a blue Monday,I was a bit surprised that people could have the motivation to enjoy a night out.But one man’s meat is another man’s poison.And so they say.Heck,for all I know they may just be working in one of those pubs.They noticed my greeting eyes and they responded with that piercing stare of,”What are you looking at?Do we look like sluts to you?”kinda look.At which point,I just looked away in embarrassment.Not because I was,but the corner of my eyes caught an auntie’s underwear peeking out from the hot pants of one of the ladies.I was blushing in embarrassment for her.Nude in color.
As I was having my plate of Maggie,I caught the sight of the building my past beau used to work at as a chat operator.She took the job on a short stint whilst I was completing my national service.It triggered that one incident in my memory of that one moment when I went to Bali with a fellow NS mate.We were scheduled to return back to Singapore late,but somehow I managed to secure an earlier flight without informing my beau.That very night after I landed,I decided to surprise her,by dropping over at her workplace,with the intention of picking her up.She ends late around 11pm.Anyway,at the prescribed time,I waited behind a pillar and saw to my amazement,she walking down the building.I was amazed because she was dressed without her usual dressing of “tudung”.She was decked in a brown sweater and jeans,with that bounce in her,like she’s expecting to go on a precocious date.Intrigued I decided to follow her,as she made her way down the alleys,all the while remaining in the obscurity of the shadows.When she visited a 7 Eleven outlet,I did the next best thing.I called her.It took a while before she picked it up,(since her ID caller must have indicated my mobile number).Her first words were.”When did you come back?”.Heh.
Told her to turn around,and that look on her face was worth a million dollars.She put the call down and immediately did a quick finger shuffling on her mobile,as I made my way to her.Funny as it was,I did not question a single anomaly from her that night.Neither did I ask why she was dressed like that.All I knew then,that time,she had cheated me.And by no means was I going to go into the specifics of my pain.And as I put that last strands of Maggie in my mouth,I thought of that irreversible statement,”You only hurt those you love.”
I then decided to take a walk down memory lane.Just as a therapy.
Sitting by the calm Singapore River,on the steps of UOB building,I threw my gaze at the two prominent buildings.Fullerton Hotel and the Asian Civilizations Museum.Landmarks I had once earmarked as locations for the making of destined memories.Strangely for both locations,only my wife had walked through with me,so perhaps there is that element of destiny.Looking at both buildings brought about a new breath of resolve.The dreams did not die.It’s just yet to be realized.
As surreal as it is,it still feels as if it was just last week that I had walked down the halls of Fullerton with a friend.Someone who was married,and there I was cursing my luck and at God for not allowing the opportunity much earlier.Way before I knew my wife or Serendipity.Way back when I was a darling in AIA.It’s such moments in Life that makes for good viewing.The What Ifs episodes.At least now,I can categorically place emphasis on the memories I choose to visualize.(Which jolts me to that flash of memory,of a chanced reading of the aforementioned beau’s email describing antics in a hotel room stay with a guy,whilst I was working)Memories can be good indicators on pain tolerance.Maybe that is why I am a big picture kinda guy this days.I learned once that curiosity kills.An advise I can give to you readers is that,in relationships,the best time spent are the ones with yourself.Build a relationship with yourself.Self love.Self respect.Self principle,Then only can one build on the foundations for partnerships.
Clarke Quay was a welcoming visit.With the rapid urbanization,am sure that one day,all those familiar walks will be left in the dust of memories.And I’m sure that even then,the ghostly and haunting walks of that proverbial someone will remain.
People like to have great experiences and be left with good memories.
I prefer to have good experiences and be left with great memories.
Just like that New Year’s Eve celebrations with my wife…along the walks of Clarke Quay.