The Son,The Father and The Whatever

Aaaaah.The beauty of not being inspired for a week.The wondrous pleasure of realizing that being inspired these days,no longer takes the form of cleavage displaying ladies walking around in barely there outfits.The rapturous satisfaction of knowing that my dream car could possibly not be RX 8 anymore,but perhaps a CR 7.And yes,it does not mean Cristiano Ronaldo. It just means that. CR 7.

I enjoyed the weekend,because I discovered a facet of my demonic self.Played a friendly soccer game with my weekly social outfit,Stamford FC.We duly lost that game 5 – 3.But I enjoyed the loss.Because I expressed myself.And by that,I mean,I screamed,shouted and swore.After the game,I reflected quietly to myself,as to why I had a Jekyll and Hyde kinda performances with my two social teams,Redbacks and Stamford.It dawned on me,on that familiar camaraderie with Stamford.The fact that the players I had screamed at,came up to me and said,

“Jaz,you were not running in the second half.Age catching up with you right?”

“I know.That’s why I screamed at you.My shouts reached you faster than the ball.”I replied.

And we laughed like hyenas.In an outfit such as Stamford where a 62 year old man is playing on the right wing,and still get shouted by me,means something.It means that we played like a team forged over years of bonding.Even my brother got screamed at, by myself and Kai.And he took it as learning points,as I had told him beforehand.Stamford will never be a team that can compete in amateur or professional leagues.They are a social outfit personified.Which is ironic considering that we play every week without fail for the past 10 years.But,it’s because we all know the threshold of performances.We know how to enjoy a win and a loss.As a team,we had passed that benchmark of excellence.That’s all there is to Stamford.

But Redbacks is different.Over the weekend,we suffered yet another defeat.But,we ought not to be surprised.I was not.Redbacks is a team brimming with potential.A league format potential that is.The team is blessed with talents,either blooming or semi expired.But the fact is,we are nowhere near that status of being a cult team.We are a bunch of able playing individuals.We have not learned as a team,on how to maximize the strengths and compensate our weaknesses.Individually,we have not realized it.As a team,we still have a long way to go.I truly empathize with the frustrations cited out by some of the players.Who’s not?But the truth remains,that frustrations do not shape a team.Neither will opinions.It’s still about that thing called initiated mindsets.And by that I mean,everyone in that team has to put forth a team siege mentality.And that siege mentality can only be formed over years of painstaking bonding and familiarization.And yes,that includes,regular kick abouts.Needless to say,if we do not do that,every week of playing in a soccer match is like sending headless chickens to the slaughterhouse.The law of averages will ensure that there are a mix of victories and losses.But the fact remains that,the growth graph will remain stagnant.Good players will remain good.The average players will improve a bit.And that’s all there is to it.Is getting people down for kickabouts hard to do?Of course it is.But that’s the difference you see.It’s the hard things you do now,that will simplify things later.And until Redbacks learn this,we’ll stay a social outfit masquerading as a league team.There is hope though.Just have to let that cycle run by.

On a lighter side of things,I’m awaiting patiently for the birth of my Mini Me.My baby that is.Funny as it sounds,but that excitement within,seems like an undercurrent. I mean,that I am excited yes,and very curious at the same time.the progression of roles has taken a very momentous route.It’s curiously amazing,when you touch your wife’s tummy and feel a bulge resembling a fist.A moving fist.And one wonders softly,at the beauty of creation.A life within a life.Amazing isn’t it?This son of mine,will have a life ahead of him.And yet,with that certainty comes that uncertainty also,on just what kinda life he will have.Sometimes,I wonder and reflect just how time flies.In a month’s time,I’ll be 28 years in age.That’s 4 cycles of 7 years.In the Joseph cycle,it will mean that I had lived out a full fledged cycle.

My son will soon live his.I hope that when he does live out his life,he will find a bosom buddy quickly.Like how I found mine in Kai.Where they will live out their lives,intertwined in experiences but defining in their own way.I hope that in his love life,he will understand the virtues of responsibilities.Because nothing else matters in a relationship,other than responsibility.I hope that he will understand that love is a faculty of self expression and not an object of manipulation.The gift of the gap should be tenderly threaded with consideration and affection.Not as a lawless mean of conquer.I hope he will learn that family dynamics determine the social fabrics.Society will never put an individual on a pedestal,if that individual chooses to step on his family dignity for the reach of accolades.He should know that one reaches a pedestal,only when family and society hoists him up there.I hope that he knows just what it is like to face the challenges of being an individual in a community that is so quick in conforming.I hope,he will grow up,not to be a doctor,a scientist,a graduate or a successful person.I just hope that he knows his purpose in life.When he knows that,he will know the rest.

So,I figured two things this week.

One.Things can only get better.If people throw shit,you make them as manures.

Two.Between being a father and being a Godfather,it’s easier to be a Godfather.Why?Because Godfather controls buffoons,where else a father brings up a child.Tough right?

“America’s Next Top Model Cycle 11 is on.Woooooooohooooooooooooo.”


4 thoughts on “The Son,The Father and The Whatever

  1. congrats on being a father man! feel happy for you.

    redbacks? i will just let my feet do the talking next time. a social team it remains and i wont bother bout the result as much as i did. dun like this feeling i can tell u man, no progress for too long as it seems cause i thought we play much better last season. Screw that, whatever it is, if everyone is fine with things are, why shouldnt i? right?

  2. Thank you Ayyub.Moi feel happy too.

    I agree with you in letting your feet do the talking.In a team with 20 different heads,it’ll be frustrating to understand why we are in this current state.Nobody likes the feeling of stagnation.But,that’s a cycle.Pretty normal.We were great last season,this season we are good,next we might be worst and so forth.What’s important is our own performance graph.

    Remember dude.If you are Roberto Baggio in a team like Singapore Lions,there is nothing in the world that can change the results.But that does not mean you are not good.It just means,that as a team,Singapore Lions is still not good enough.Get my drift?Roberto Baggio is still Roberto Baggio.

  3. point noted.

    i have to say that’s smart of you to use Robby Baggio as an example to inspire me. I agree with you man. I should just take account to my own performance.

    Hey tell Kai dun merajuk la, wanna stop playing soccer… he told me he got better things to do… that fellow loves football siak…. just like us…. i dun believe he told me that! LOL….

    somehow ur responses to me in the blogs make me feel better…but somehow whenever we meet we dun talk much… what’s the freaking problem man??? hahaha….

  4. Suka hati aku lah kalau aku nak merajuk! Haha. No lah. I was just affected by events that happened to me at work and at school that week. So the defeat and my personal performance just intensified the disappointment when I was looking for some sort of reprieve. I was asking myself, “What am I doing here? I should be at home doing work.”

    Now that assignments, work and marking are completing. I feel more relaxed. Maybe that was me speaking before thinking. But I do accept the fact that I may eventually stop playing soccer. As it is now, I have difficulty walking for a few days after I play soccer on Sunday. As a teacher, that is a serious problem when you have to stand while you teach most of the time. Rationally, I need to reassess my situation and decide what is best for my future. Just because I stop playing, doesn’t mean my love affair with the game is over.

    And Jaz, so proud of you lah bro. Spoken like a true exemplary father. Speaking from experience right? Haha. Trust me, I will leave out some juicy details about your growing up life. You can tell him that yourself. I’ll just tell him how nerdy you were back then and the fun we got ourselves into. I’m sure that would be a Kodak moment.

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