Let Your Diapers Do The Soaking

People say that having a baby in your home will be hard.Well,they are wrong.Having a baby in your home is VERY hard.I’m not complaining.I’m just saying that,not understanding why a baby cries make all my years of learning communication skills,pointless.But that’s besides the point.The point is,I’ve also discovered that a baby instinctively does not try to suck on my nipples when I carry them.Fikri is smart.The dad apparently is not.

I’ve grown to be accustomed with delegation of duties.I am the milk maker.My forte is at taking the bottle,putting in 60 ml of lukewarm water,putting in three scoops of Dumac, and shaking the bottle like the bartender over at Bar None.Yes,the years of clubbing has its purposes.I’ve delegated the duties of handling toxic and hazardous materials to the wife.Nappy changing is a skill usually attributed to those with good hands.And I certainly don’t have the skill.

Let me see.Today,we had that “cukur rambut” session.Nothing grand and ceremonial.Just me holding Fikri’s tender head,whilst my brother in law skillfully threads his way with the razor shaver.From a spiky and funky looking baby,Fikri is now a Zen looking baby.It’s rather humorous seeing his ultra bald sexy look.But babies being babies.No matter how smelly they are,people still think they are cute.Which they are by the way.

I had wanted to write about my overnight ordeal in the delivery suite.But it’ll probably take me the whole night.All that I can briefly say is that,no amount of toughness in a man,can stand seeing a mother go through a state of semi consciousness,just to ease the pains of contractions.And yes,there were no screams and hair pulling,so often described.Because the wife amazingly,went into only two hours of labor,delivered with assistance,with only 8 pushes.And yes,I breathe in and out unconsciously,as the doctor was guiding the wife.It was just natural.She breathed in,I did the same.She breathed out,I did the same.That significant moment when Fikri’s head came out slowly,was just surreal.I do not know how to describe it.Well actually,I can describe it.But it’ll be too gory to be published,and might just turn off some fathers wannabe.It was a beautiful moment nevertheless.As Fikri came out,head facing down first,he was a sight to behold.All covered in mucus and watery substance.The doctor placed him on the wife’s lap,all sprawled up,and I looked and stared in astonishment.I forgot to say praise to Allah,for I was just astonished,that a life just came out of the wife.Amazing.Did I cry?Tried to,but could not.Believe it or not,I was just relieved that the whole process was over,and there in front of my eyes laid the 2.8kg Fikri.When he was placed in the crib,beside the bed,the nurse allowed me to call out the adzan in his ears.I did so,and was even more astonished,when crying Fikri just momentarily stopped and looked around,staring at me.He responded!

Anyway,to cut the long story short,he is all well and fine now,along with the wife who has got stares all week around.Because her tummy is so flat,that it’s quite absurd actually.I mean,she just gave birth a week ago.Even the servers at McDonalds commented this morning whilst buying breakfast.She asked how old Fikri was,and we answered,”A week!”She then looked at the wife’s tummy and began calling her friends at the counter,remarking how it could be that the wife’s tummy was flat.I don’t know too.

Oh well,on an ending note,I learned a few things this week

1.Fikri sleeps to the Quranic recitation of the verse Al Mumtahanah

2.My girlfriend,who will be getting married in a fortnight had decided to name her converting husband to be,E’jaaz.And yes,I will be her witness at the solemnization.And yes,I am surprised that the name was such.Why?Because that is what she calls me by.

3.The TCM phsysician over at Yishun,told me that I need to lay off soccer for a long,long,long time.Cause I busted my knee a year ago,and this was the first time I tried to seriously get it fixed.

4.I’ve not touched my XBOX for 2 months.Darn!

5.I have not had a proper sleep in weeks.

6.I’m a father?

7.Rihanna is dumb to patch things up with Chris Brown.

8.Pesta Perdana was a farce.An idiotic fiesta of Malay wannabes,trying to be in the glitz and glam of a Hollywood based setting.Cleavage galore.And,did you hear of any award recipients saying his thanks to Allah?

9.Baby’s poo smells bad.

10.I miss Karaoke.

…and yes,I’ll try to faithfully update my blog regularly.It’s Fikri that has been snatching my attention away from you.What to do?Father what!

La…la…la…la…la

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3 thoughts on “Let Your Diapers Do The Soaking

  1. Haha… Enjoy fatherhood.. I’m sure you’ll do fine just like you do great at everything you put your mind to.. There will definitely be many more great experiences to be savoured…

    I did not catch Pesta Perdana.. I didn’t think it was worth watching anyway.. Plus, I have better things to do, like stare at the wall.. What’s the big deal about the Malay actresses baring their cleavages anyway? There’s ample bosom if you walk down the streets of Singapore..

    Said it many times before bro, the knee won’t heal itself… Does this mean that you are considering retirement? People like us living on borrowed time man.. Only Allah knows how long my knee will hold out.. Either way, source out for solutions and work on the knee… Trust me, it will be worth your time.. We only have one life and we only have one body to preserve.. You’re turning 28 bro.. Still not that old.. I’m sure you still have good powers of recovery, seeing that you’re generally in better health than I am..

    Live life!

  2. Still remember an entry I penned in years ago,entitled,Brudderhood of the Ya Ya something.Now,it’s fatherhood.Clichéd as it may sound,if one had asked me 5 years ago,when I’ll be a father,I’ll probably not guess it to be now.

    Anyway,the knee is indeed in need of a well rehabilitated rest.It’s 10% physical and 100% mental kinda rehabilitation.Oh well,rest now play later I guess.Fat Ronaldo busted his tendons and he’s still playing,so there’s hope actually.All I need is a transverstite episode like the one he had.Wahahahaha.

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