Tweet The Teats

I’m sure you’ve heard of that new song piece from Justin Timberlake. The one where he sang with Ciara, entitled, “Love Sex Magic”.3 intriguing words lined up in one title. What a great way to just mess that horny,adrenalin rush in each and one of us.I was just trying to reason out as to why the order of the words were placed in such a manner.Why not magic first,followed by sex and then love? That’s what a typical Playboy host will do.(ehem).Create the magic,and then in the mentioned order.But I guess,the producers for the song was spot on.People fall in love,then they do that thing they do and say it’s magic.I think.

I was on my way home,from office just now.Stopped at Lucky Plaza bust stop.As I was making my way to the subground tunnel to the MRT station, a client called.As I was engrossed answering her queries,I noticed a lady with biceps and big boobs coming down the stairs of Lucky Plaza.And when I say big,it’s big as in perhaps a 38 or something.I choked on my saliva,when I saw her.Why?Because,firstly,she was clearly a “he”.A tranny.It was wearing a low cut neck blouse that had its ample bosoms just wanting to spill over.And no,I had no reasons to get excited because,it’s nipples were just super erected,that it sure made Madonna’s cone shaped brasierre a farce.It was fake ugly as a sight.I literally stopped in my tracks just to recollect my fleeting sanity.The client at the other end was calling out for my attention,but I was just dumb speechless.It’s horrendous.There was no lov,sex or even magic with that “lady”.

Aaaaaah.And so,Amazing Race has just ended yet another run.Another fantastic season that had the usual doses of personalities.I was not surprised the siblings team of Victor and Tammy won.The way they compose and gather their thoughts at every stage of the race was commendable.I believe that for such races,it is essential to have clear heads.People who are driven and motivated helps.But,I strongly am of the opinion,after watching all the seasons that passes,that by far and large,winners were those who were able to keep it tight and compact with their attitudes and mindsets.People who gave up,complain or whine just seemed to be great primetime viewing materials.Not worthy of the one million dollar prize.

On a lighter note,I’m amused with a discovery.My company is offering free personal accident coverage for a year,as part of its campaign to help with the current economic crisis.I had blasted out smses on Friday evening to about 25 people,as a trial attempt at seeing the response.All 25 recipients were Malay Muslim friends of mine.Guess what the response was like?Zilch babe!Zilch!I could not believe it!This was something I was convicted to act upon,(sending out the info),because there really was no strings attached and obligations to fulfill.All that was needed was just the taking down of some personal information on an analysis.An analysis that will cost you $300 on the market plus a free $10K insurance coverage for a year,and not even a single soul from my community,even bothered to ask.Now I know just how some of friends value their goals in life.In my unit,it was like hot cakes.The Chinese people were smart enough to not decline,something as valuable as free coverage.We,Malays,probably deserve something better.Death without insurance coverage.I’m speaking strictly from a warped perspective of those within my circle of existence.I know many Malay Muslims out there are not as ignorant as the company that I keep sometimes.Now I know why other races are so way ahead in terms of progression.Theybother to do the things we don’t.Period.

In another few hours,it’s another half a day of course.And yes,I’ll get to catch some skirt wearing females with beautiful bodies prancing about the room,totally oblivious to the stares and glares.I like to see their legs.Only for the sheer reason of wondering why some of the green veins on those legs never popped out.Wearing heels can be a painful vanity to carry around.There are 2 Malay ladies.Totally smoking hot and totally different in physical features.One totally petite and one totally modelesque.But the way they look at Malay men like me,seems to indicate that disdain and skepticism of competencyIt’s like their stares at me are saying,”Yet another Mat!”.Well,that’s the reality of things.I don’t care what they may think.Their farts are smelly also…(lol).

Oh swell,I’ve been twittering like some kid who just got a taste of strawberry candy.Who cares about what I do,I asked myself.Nobody,I answered.That’s the beauty of it.I’m spared from judgements.

Can’t wait for Thursday.I’ve got a meeting with Robert Langdon over at Vatican.We are going to do a research paper on yet another conspirancy.

It’ll be entitled,”What the Hell Happened to Mas Selamat.”

Believe me,you’ll wanna know…

Stay tuned.

ps:I discovered that a Bangladeshi who wears a jacket adorned with the word “Security” is something worth noting.Just walk through the underground passage over at Orchard MRT station.No kidding.


3 thoughts on “Tweet The Teats

  1. Confirmed and true yet again. Jaz is a freak magnet. Oi? How come I didn’t get this supposed SMS you were sending out? I could use free coverage. Hot malay girls are overrated.. Looks great but lacks personality and class.. Let’s face it. Mats will be mats and minahs will always be minahs, no matter how many layers of cover-up they might put.. Luckily for us, we’re Japanese and Italian.. Haha…

    Let’s make the T-Shirt with that tagline: What the Hell Happened to Mas Selamat.. It will be a sell-out….

  2. Dude,told you wat,that the sms was just a trial run.Anyway,will let you in on the details later.

    Anyway,regarding the freak tranny encounter,let’s just say that perhaps it was just coincidental.Lol!

    Fyi,one of the hot Malay chicks,just introduced herself to me,gave me her name,we exchanged namecards,and …(lol).

    Mas Selamat t shirts cannot be sold without the appropriate approval.I just checked.We need to get one from Disneyland.Wahahahahah!

  3. Wah.. Lumayan.. Sejak jadi Daddy ni, saham macam naik aje.. Alhamdullilah.. Anyway, what’s this course that you’re attending? Compulsory for Manulife agents ke? Is this hot malay lady a financial planner too? Coz if she is, can I change agent so that she can service me? I think seeing her is definitely a refreshing change than seeing you all the time…

    Btw, aku nya critical illness cover apa crita?

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