I learned that people do not like to be told. Or maybe to be confronted with hard truths. Or maybe to be knocked with the harsh realization that whatever thoughts hey have are wrong. You may have been in this situation before. Where you may be forced to suck in your will, and attempt to diffuse a rather “wrong” situation by saying the next nicest thing possible.
A friend of mine consulted me over his finances about 3 weeks ago. He wanted to save. I wanted to help him save. His wife was hesitant, ( which may have been my failure at not presenting/stressing the need ). He finally committed to a premium, which I was ready to collect a week back. One night before the scheduled meeting, he text saying that he had to delay the premium, by slightly a month. For an unforeseen urgency.
The reply I gave
In a rather reactive mode, I told my dear pal that he could not save, and told him that he would have been better off saving the money on his own, and that his wife was not keen on the idea of saving and that he should just get back to me if he found the idea of saving pressing.
Harsh? I thought so too.
I mulled over my response for quite a while…until today.
Honesty Is The Right Policy
I realized now why I have such a reaction. It was because I care enough to be bothered. Care enough to know when someone has made bad decisions and will continue making them if no priorities are made. Wise enough to somehow predict the trajectory of someone’s financial climb. An uphill climb. And I guess, I am proud of the career in which I am in. The fact that I take his responses personally, shows just how much I hate people who give reasons or obstacles to their success.
I’ve Seen A Friend Died, Without a Financial Plan, All Because Something More Urgent Came Up
Friends sometimes detest my asking about their financial plans, to the point where sometimes I can dare say I no longer give a damn. Sometimes I just wish they understand the magnitude of their problems. That they are not Supermen. They die, and they will probably leave a wife, who will need the care of another man, who will make love, make kids and provide provisions and leadership for them, should the deceased husband fail to provide sustenance upon his death. But no. My friends care more about their cars, houses, overseas trips and fallacies. My friend who died had all the same dreams too. And he died leaving behind $113 for his single mother and three young siblings.
Apologies Do Not Feed Your Wife
Maybe I’ve insulted the good nature and well being of my friend and his spouse with my harsh reply. But, I can safely say that me being remorseful does not add a bit of goodwill on the shoulders of this young couple. I am so convinced of the value proposition in which I brought to his table, that I feel, not placing priority for it is a cardinal sin. By being nice and all obliging, I will shortchange my friends and all that I hold dear to me, the importance of a financial plan.
I definitely do not want to hold up my hand in remorse one day should the weeping wife come up to me and asked why I had not pressed her husband with the purchase of a plan.
My obligations are done.
As a friend, I’ve definitely brought you to the water’s edge. Whether you drink or not from it, is beyond me. You either die of thirst or you’ll enjoy a refreshing taste.
I am sorry for my actions, but I am definitely not regretting my intentions.