Just Getting This Out Of My Way

Waiting For A Wave or a Tsunami
Don't Just Wait

I learned that people do not like to be told. Or maybe to be confronted with hard truths. Or maybe to be knocked with the harsh realization that whatever thoughts hey have are wrong. You may have been in this situation before. Where you may be forced to suck in your will, and attempt to diffuse a rather “wrong” situation by saying the next nicest thing possible.

A friend of mine consulted me over his finances about 3 weeks ago. He wanted to save. I wanted to help him save. His wife was hesitant, ( which may have been my failure at not presenting/stressing the need ). He finally committed to a premium, which I was ready to collect a week back. One night before the scheduled meeting, he text saying that he had to delay the premium, by slightly a month. For an unforeseen urgency.

The reply I gave

In a rather reactive mode, I told my dear pal that he could not save, and told him that he would have been better off saving the money on his own, and that his wife was not keen on the idea of saving and that he should just get back to me if he found the idea of saving pressing.

Harsh? I thought so too.

I mulled over my response for quite a while…until today.

Honesty Is The Right Policy

I realized now why I have such a reaction. It was because I care enough to be bothered. Care enough to know when someone has made bad decisions and will continue making them if no priorities are made. Wise enough to somehow predict the trajectory of someone’s financial climb. An uphill climb. And I guess, I am proud of the career in which I am in. The fact that I take his responses personally, shows just how much I hate people who give reasons or obstacles to their success.

I’ve Seen A Friend Died, Without a Financial Plan, All Because Something More Urgent Came Up

Friends sometimes detest my asking about their financial plans, to the point where sometimes I can dare say I no longer give a damn. Sometimes I just wish they understand the magnitude of their problems. That they are not Supermen. They die, and they will probably leave a wife, who will need the care of another man, who will make love, make kids and provide provisions and leadership for them, should the deceased husband fail to provide sustenance upon his death. But no. My friends care more about their cars, houses, overseas trips and fallacies. My friend who died had all the same dreams too. And he died leaving behind $113 for his single mother and three young siblings.

Apologies Do Not Feed Your Wife

Maybe I’ve insulted the good nature and well being of my friend and his spouse with my harsh reply. But, I can safely say that me being remorseful does not add a bit of goodwill on the shoulders of this young couple. I am so convinced of the value proposition in which I brought to his table, that I feel, not placing priority for it is a cardinal sin. By being nice and all obliging, I will shortchange my friends and all that I hold dear to me, the importance of a financial plan.

I definitely do not want to hold up my hand in remorse one day should the weeping wife come up to me and asked why I had not pressed her husband with the purchase of a plan.

My obligations are done.

As a friend, I’ve definitely brought you to the water’s edge. Whether you drink or not from it, is beyond me. You either die of thirst or you’ll enjoy a refreshing taste.

I am sorry for my actions, but I am definitely not regretting my intentions.


2 thoughts on “Just Getting This Out Of My Way

  1. well.. we get alot of that kan bro? we get frustated especially if the prospect are people close to us.. our friends.. our families.. kalau kita takleh tegur dengan mulut.. kita tegur dgn tangan.. kalau kita takleh tegur dgn tangan.. maka selemah-lemah iman is to pray for them.. that one day akan terbuka hati dia to see the importance. and we are here not to force them to this and that.. we are here just to lead them.. just to show them.. all this is possible IF ALLAH wants to test them with CI, TPD or even DEATH.

    however, we can only lead a horse to water, but we can’t make it drink.

    1. True sis. Unfortunately, such situations are so much prevalent within our community. Our Asian values of not wanting to disrupt kinship or friendship ties, may sometimes get in the way of establishing ourselves. I still cannot figure out just how these people have the idea that they can pay themselves through life and its unexpected events like death.

      About leading the horse to the water sis, I think it’s about time we remove the water from the horses. What’s the use of bringing the horse in the first place, if we know they will not drink. Am sure there are other willing horses, we can bring the water to.

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