Turning 29 is not really ground shattering. I still do not have my own car. Am still living with my parents. And yes, I am not really that retired. In fact, I am still on the path of self discovery.
But, celebrating 29 with a one year old son and a beautiful wife has been a blessing. Cause put me in another scenario, I am most likely to be in the company of liquor and women. And yes, that’s how low my iman can be at times. And I’m not being a righteous hypocrite by saying that I would not.
The beauty of my birthday this year, was rushing back home from a long day at a roadshow, just because I missed my son so much. Holding him in my arms and kissing those rosy cheeks was the greatest birthday present I could have given myself and for which I am ever thankful, to my wife for giving birth to him. The wonder of my birthday was about receiving text messages from important people like Kai. Facebook messages from pals and colleagues. It illuminates my memory lanes with that thought that I still have much to appreciate.
Birthdays are paradoxical. It remembers your coming into this world yet it pushes one, to yet another landmark towards an end.
At 29 years of age, I should be much closer to God. So much closer. Yet, I’ve not been faithfully messaging or calling Him.
At 29 years of age, I worry that He may have forgotten about me.
At 29 years of age, I worry that He will not invite me to his home again.
At 29 years of age, I worry that He will not worry about me anymore.
Sometimes I still have my birthday wishes playing inside my head…
I wanna be a Muezzin calling out to prayers in a mosque.
I wanna be an Imam leading a congregational prayer.
I wanna be a Daee’ propagating His message.
I wanna be a Mujahid defending His honor.
Ans sometimes just wondering if syahid is too much to ask for…
Nevertheless, I have good thoughts of Him. For He knows my birthday wishes every single year.