Sometimes I wonder why people wanna read my blog posts. Seriously.
There have been episodes in my life when the emergence of content sensitive posts, on my blog have either ruffled the feathers of those unassuming enough. Sometimes, my blog posts have been witnesses to the destruction of long term relationships, because I was so hell bent on expressing my feelings, emotions and thoughts on this online platform. There have been vile and comments on my blog posts. There have been and probably will still be, resentment, dissatisfactions and of course misunderstandings on the readers’ part, if they literally judge the posts I write.
There have also been in the past, occurrences when I’ve been advised and told to not be so explicit with my expressions. Write about fair weathered topics, neutral subjects or something as interesting as the rain falling on the roof of a coffee shop. Yet I persisted in writing down posts that relieve me of any emotional baggages at night. I write and type with the kind of euphoria, a mental patient would.
People sometimes do not understand that there is a reason I can choose to be raw and frank, disregarding the need to please my readers. When I stopped blogging a few years back, I lost an outlet of expressions. Also at that time, the content of mushy expressions I had put forth in my blog posts had led to the conclusion of a long term relationship. It was naivety on my part, of course. But that episode taught me something. I can choose to be careful with my blog entries and totally miss out on the essence of my life’s experiences. Or, I can choose to type without a care on the repercussions, and at the same time, it will serve as the most accurate account for my biography.
Maybe it’s just me. But I do not want my life to be politically correct. I want it to be, realistically accurate. It’s a tad ridiculous to write posts that seem to paint how lovely a mangrove swamp is, or how the rainbow is made of seven distinct colors, or that the Sun rises in the East or maybe even what I had for snacks. I just figured that I am gonna die one day, and my blog posts must serve a learning purpose for readers should they stumble unknowingly. I am being modest here, but I seriously think that there will come a day when a blog post of mine might just change the mind of a person wanting to commit suicide.
The gist of my blog has evolved over the years. Just a few years back, every post will literally be filled with unconditional declarations of love for someone. It did have a fair number of readers. These days, my blog seems to be revamping with my involvement with people from all over this tiny island.
You, the reader, is a very important component on what this blog is all about sometimes. Because there are times, when I literally wanna converse my unspoken thoughts to you. There are times when I just wanna convey to you, my hopes, my dreams and my fears. It’s just that soothing comfort of knowing that there is a God created individual behind this screen in another space, listening in to these words.
This is what I think.
The fear of exclusion is overwhelming. There are some of us, unwilling enough to write what we feel or think about. We wanna be safe in that element of expressions. We want to sound right. We want to sound justified, so that our self worth can be justified. We want to tell ourselves after posting a blog post, that the entry will be pleasing on the comprehensions of readers. We want to feel that the right thing about blogging is amicability. We want to be part of that group who blogs about our interesting careers, life, relationships and dreams. Of course, we can do that. It’s an absolute right.
In life we can choose to be safe. Or we can choose to be a moronic idiot, with ideas, judgement, assumption, misconstrued informations and bias attitude towards life. And these latter group sometimes blog. And when they blog, they tend to hurt, step on nuclear reactor’s trip wires, destroy goodwill relationships and of course lead to occasional lapses and breach into the domain, called feelings.
But blog posts, were intended to be one thing. Self expressions. If you have to think too much into what you wanna type out, then you are better off writing in that $3.00 key and lock diary. It’s safer.
Don’t read too much into this post though. I’m just being moronic.