The recent days had seen reports, official statements and opinions from scores of individuals within the community, about the intention of having an Obedient Wives Club being formed right on our shores. This establishment, that was supposedly founded and propagated by the splinter units of the now defunct Al Arqam was seen by many as an “atrocity” on the rights of womanhood. It was lambasted by the “official opinions” of those asked, as a society that can split the community.
I say…typical knee jerk reactions!
Although, yes I must admit that the statements coming from the sisters over in Malaysia, likening the need to have these support group, so as to assist wives in becoming a “first class” sexual provider, to be way out of line. However I believe it may have been spoken in a moment of overzealous tone. She probably wanted to reiterate the point that such “skills” are crucial in maintaining a harmonious marriage. But it came out wrongly. Heh.
The case however is the fact that some are already lighting their torches, in their bid to burn down an idea, which in my personal opinion, is a good initiative to spark the interests of those who can benefit.
The unfortunate issue here is that, people are selectively quoting and forming impressions about an O.W.C as a degrading form of defining the roles of a wife. Yes, undeniably, the role of a wife is not constrained to the acts of sexual intimacy. To most clamoring for that call of a woman being defined as holistic in nature will mention in a single breath, things such as a wife needs to be a mother, a daughter in law, a career woman and so many others.
But the point worth pondering here is, how will such a club/society elevate the status of a wife? That should be the question a woman should ask herself. If yes, the de facto mission of the club is to teach women the various Kamasutra-ic positions, I say, do not waste the time and effort. As a husband, I can just ask my wife to download the latest I-Kamasutra application. But what if, a few enterprising and deeply rooted women were to take the initiative and seriously take this effort further? To make a woman not just an intimacy specialist, but also a competent communicator, a resourceful individual, a source of strength for the husband and so forth.
I will like to have a club that focuses its effort on the nurturing and support for wives. In the community by which we are in now, there needs to be this concerted effort, to ensure that the basis by which the rights of a wife is being established, be done by an Islamically based body. Because although the rights of a woman, are well protected and defended by charter acts and bodies such as AWARE, I categorically feel that Muslim women/wives need a unique one. Unique, because Muslim women, in my personal opinion carry an identity that is rather unique. 🙂
I do not wanna go into the details on the special blessings by which Islam has granted on the women. You can go Google that. The thing is, every role that the Muslim woman plays has been defined and accorded with the necessary rewards. Needless to say, even women is granted a place in the Quran as a chapter.
The thing that I can implore on having a club like O.W.C in Singapore is only because, I feel that for every 1 Muslim wife that feels she has been enlightened, there are 9 other Muslim wives struggling with their roles, here in sunny Singapore. I simply detest this elitist attitude coming from those few who feel that they’ve been enlightened with Islamic values, and always wanting to eschew this “privilege” on those who are probably not. Some Muslim wives/women in Singapore probably forgot that not all are blessed with the opportunity to be married to a righteous husband, having the right family dynamics, being brought up with Islamic values and the likes.
Change The Action Plan. Keep The Intentions
Having a club such as O.W.C, and I disclaim myself again, by which that is not steeped only on the art of lovemaking, is crucial for the wives in Singapore. The supportive nature of a club that is grounded on solid Islamic values, and worked through by passionate and empathetic Muslim women, is exactly the kind of fresh air, the community needs. A club that reminds its members of the fundamentals and nitty grittys of being a wife in an Islamic setting. There’ll be some who will be soothed and pacified. There’ll be some who will be driven and motivated to improve. There’ll be some who will be comforted in knowing that no matter where their standings are in terms of financial and status in the eyes of the society, they have a fortress in their family nucleus to defend.
O.W.C should be an impetus for NGOs or service providers to look at. It could be worked upon to form a model, by which the Muslim wives can call as their own. Though there are snippets and bubbles all over, that tries to unhinge this ignorance lock, it is definitely not enough. If there never was any intention to have such a movement being implemented, it may just create legions and legions of young Muslim wives, educated in the annals of consumerism, liberal women independence, the senseless chest beatings of womanhood and the power of financial supremacy. This is the real reason why divorces are always an option and consideration for most.
Sexual intimacy is a by product of mutual engagement by a couple, that has been nurtured in confidence, competencies, success and the need to express. O.W.C’s initial suggestions may be warped, but its intentions are definitely not. So, people should not be quick to jump on that bandwagon of ignorant discussions. Unless one has a better alternative to foster the spirit of a Muslim wife.
I worry that the bad publicity that O.W.C is receiving will just see the burial of a great seed. Imagine a small and humble club fostered with the spirit of Siti Khadijah, Aishah, Fatimah, Maryam (pbut) and so many others. It cannot go that far off.
I’ll leave you with a credo that a future O.W.C can probably adopt…
- The Obedient Wives’ Club: Muslim Advocate Tells Women That It Is Their Duty Under The Koran Is To Service Husbands Like “First-Class Prostitutes” (jonathanturley.org)
- Obedient Wives Club angers Malaysian women (independent.co.uk)
- Obedient Wives Club in Malaysia promotes good sex (seattletimes.nwsource.com)