When You Start Wishing For Utopia

What Am I Looking For Again?







When everyone talks about love,relationships and commitments in the same breath as unicorns,princesses and castles, you know very much that you are listening to a stock market analysis. Having the privilege of listening in to commentaries regarding the ideal partners,women will probably fawn over, I could not help but chuckle in disbelief.

I evaluated myself. Am I the ideal partner? I’ll be humble here and just stretch out my limbs and exclaim this loudly.

I might be a bad partner. Maybe. But I do know one thing. I make one swelling hell of a father. The Dads For Life walking testimonial sort.

You. Yes…the woman. Along the phase of growing up, you might have been exposed to different degrees of ideals as to what actually constitutes an ideal partner. You may have been inculcated with a subtle indoctrination, that somehow, the female of the species,especially the pretty ones, are raised to be a victim of some circumstance. You are either, a Rapunzel,a Sleeping Beauty,a Snow White,a Fiona and to a great extend,Beauty from the Beauty and the Beast saga. Somehow and someway, in the sphere of connecting with the male gender,we are perhaps needed to go through some sorta tribulations,tests and trials. I will have to slay a dragon,climb a rope of hair,be all greenish ugly or furry hairy or even face the wrath of an overzealous mother of a witch. In short, we actually have to prove a certain degree of pedigree,to even come close towards making you,our “happily ever after”.

Frankly, I used to subscribe to that ideal too. It appealed to that noble part of “the knight in shining armor” ideology.

However,over the years…via the various conversations,interactions and connections,the ideology is fast becoming a Mayan piece of wisdom,that is threatening to be extinct.

Okay,so yes, I do get that part about the males needing to be of a certain pedigree and what not. We understand that. It is ingrained in our ancestral DNA,that yes,somehow the “chest puffed up” ideal of courtship is the way to go. But can we just take a breather every now and then?

I officially do not know if there are any guys,who wakes up religiously every single day, with the thought of donning a shining armor and slaying a dragon. Why can’t the knight in shining armor,grow to be a slightly rotund king sometimes. *heh*

Anyway,the seed of thoughts going into this post,is a culmination of personal disbelief,at how shallow and hollow,some women have with regards to their perspectives. On their ideals. Partners. Relationships. Marriage. Motherhood. That idealistic thoughts of picture perfect utopias. I shall not segment a community,though it sounds tempting. And neither am I generalizing, as I have wonderful women surrounding me. Grounded,realistic and definitely living each moment of their life in gratitude.

Am talking about that minute hordes of Cleo pages turning lot. Or the steeped in “My Man is a pious,lead me straight to heaven,every mother in law’s dream” school of thought.

Some wise head should have coined up the quote,” Dream not to rest under a banyan tree,when all you are willing to do is  plant a wish.” This is my personal quote anyway. Hah.

My personal biased opinion, is that, stop wishing. Start being.

I stopped wishing for the perfect wife. I started being a better me.

I stopped wishing for the perfect mother for my child. I started being a better father.

I stopped wishing for the perfect woman. I started being a better man.

It’s much easier I think, when my level of expectations and performance is within my control. 🙂


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