“But I think we both knew, even then, that what we had was something even more rare, and even more meaningful. I was going to be his friend, and was going to show him possibilities. And he, in turn, would become someone I could trust more than myself.”
I think I had one of those awkward conversations with a client the other day. One that did not even bordered around my field of expertise , trade wise. I was not asked about financial matters. Like a bullet shot out of a loaded Magnum , the question came. “Why are you skeptical about platonic relationship?”
My client , was a 21 year old lady. A skeptic. On the need to have a long drawn relationship. She believed in the romanticized version , of Prince Charming knocking on her door and asking for her hand , directly. Via a given permission from the parents.
I think I led her on a dangerous conversation. One that was more harmful to me , I thought. Because it has been a while since I last bothered to think. Or even try to. I told her that I was a reformed idealist. A cynical realist I am now. I told her , that I used to have this idea that marriage will allow me to have endless nights of confessions. A bare it all session. She asked me , “And why can’t you?”. And I answered , “Can I?”
Eons back , I had a female buddy. And the only reason why this individual lingered back in my frame of thoughts , was because I had this deeply “trapped in time” vivid dream , of her , a few nights ago. It was too vivid and real , for my liking. Not that it will wreck a marriage type of dream. Just the kinda dream , that makes you evaluate your present standing in life. Your ideals.
This female buddy was , on hindsight now , a soul , I can do with at this period of life. Cause I can tell her everything and anything , and she will never judge me. Cause she knew who I was when I was in front of her. Not the masquerading Don Juan. And when she gave her thoughts , I could feel every ounce of sincerity oozing out of her words.
She cleansed my soul after every dinner outing. She rejuvenated my energy after every movie outing. She clarified my intertwined dilemmas after every walk down Esplanade. She was just there , at every point in time I needed her.
And that was what I was trying to tell my client. She was the ideal partner. She was perfect for me , when it came to perfecting my life. But in a real world , she can never be ideal for a less than perfect world.
Platonic friendships are like that. You will feel encapsulated in a bubble. Insulated from the harsh realities , emotions bring. Falling in love , with a platonic friend , is like setting fire to the rain. At least , that was how we felt , when we tried. Holding hands felt funny. Kissing cheeks were awkward. Saying “I love you” reeked of a bad movie script. Conversations become awry when you try to justify and define words and emotions.
Cause platonic friendships are real time. You just feel it. You just know it. When she stops you in the middle of your sentence , and instantly knows what you were gonna say. When she just knows what type of soccer apparels you need. When she just knows when to call you and say “Let’s have dinner.” When she just drops over at your workplace , and asks if a movie or dinner is a good after work itinerary. When she skips a friend’s outing , just to meet you. When she just listens to you rant and whine and bitch about other women , whom you never attract. When she attends your wedding , and you can see that glistening eyes. When she slowly disappears and you realize that she took away , an essence of yourself with her. The original you.
And then you realize that you’ve categorized her into that tab called , “Somebody That I Used To Know”. Cause attaching any other labels will just be too painful for your memory to jog through.
And so I told my client , that eventually , she will not marry her platonic friend. (cause she has one). With a downcast look , she stared at me , as if resigned to the truth I just indulged her in. She asked if I had tried asking my platonic friend out for dinner after we both got married. I shook my head.
And thus , with that small exchange I had with my client , I once again appreciated the sense of happiness that once found me. Wherever that buddy of mine is now , I know she’ll understand what I mean.
As Rihanna mentioned , “We found love in a hopeless place.”
- On Platonic Love. (ravenousforlife.wordpress.com)