5 Types Of Colleagues You Ought To Bash To Death


This post is not meant to be factual. Even if it is, it should not cause any distress to anyone. If it does, then it can only mean that you are the type I am mentioning here. Even if you are not bothered by this post, take heed. You will still be surrounded by these types, or even run the risk of becoming, should you ignore the signs. There are other thing worse in life than a zombie epidemic. It’s contenting to clowns. See if you have these types in your midst.

1. The Ask You Everything But Will Ignore Your Suggestions Type

You sit at your desk. And here comes Polly Wally, with a question. And the tonality in his voice seems to indicate that the question bears some weight in importance. You take some time off your work, places your gaze into his eyes, and ask, what his question was. He asks you a question, let’s say, “Which color inked pen should I use?” You answer. And he follows it up with several more questions like, “What brand, why, how, when and etc?” And then, after exhausting your grey matters, he wrapped it up with, “Oh gee, think I should just type it out afterall!” You get my drift? Bash these type to smithereens.

2. The Leave You Clues Attention Deficit Moron Type

You are having a great nap, and a Whatsapp tone jingles. You climb out of your bed, grabs the phone and checks your Whatsapp group channel, and one of your colleagues types, “Guys, you there?” You reply with an affirmative, “Yups, what’s up?” And there is no reply. Two hours later, the tone jingles again. You checked and found your colleague replying, ” I was just wondering if you guys are in the office.” You reply with a resounding “Yes, why?” No answers. Eons later, you receive a reply from him again. “Naaah, thought of having lunch with you guys. It’s okay though. Too late.” For these type, drown them in a bucket of horse’s pee.

3. The I Am Just Round The Corner Type

Meeting is about to start. Your director asks where your colleague was. You text him, asking for his location. He replies with that certain, “Will be in shortly. Am just round the corner. Trying to find a parking lot.” An hour passed. Your director asks you again, to get in touch with your colleague. You text him again and he replies, ” Crossing the road.” Three hours after that last message,he texts you,”Dude, is the meeting over?” Nothing less than a lethal dosage of morphine injection to his brain, will suffice.

4. The Knows Everything Else There Is To Know, But That Of His Scope

You surf an Ebay site and he will tell you which items are the best value to purchase. You surf a travel site and he will tell you which airline has the best in flight food.  You surf  a map and he will tell you where to go. You surf a sports site and he will tell you the statistics of the player from a soccer team. But when he is required to take a form, write an application or bloody sell an item, that his occupation requires of him, he will ask you. Every single bloody time. These type deserve arsenic in their drink.

5. The Invisible Man

Meetings. Zilch. Sales appointments. Zilch. Office time. Zilch.

Corporate banquet. First in line. Team bonding outing. Dressed to party. Reward giving meetings. Seated and ready to receive.

For these type, just hire an assassin. Don’t get your hands dirty.

I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.
Franklin D. Roosevelt 


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