Been wanting to post this for a while, but never quite found the right reasons to. Until, someone showed me a profile of a whiner. Scrolled through the profile and had a bit of a laugh.
Winners Do Not Post Questions Asking For Opinions On Mundane Stuffs – Seriously, who will wanna be wrecking their grey matter just to come up with viable solutions to your catastrophic questions like,
“What cat food brand should I buy for my cat?”
“What color should I paint my toilet?”
“What sized wheel should my tricycle have?
“Which mosque/church/temple should I visit today?”
Funnily enough, the people who like posting these type of statuses rarely ask things like,
“Who shall I give my monthly wage to?”
“What lovemaking position should I indulge my wife tonight?”
“When should I delete my Facebook account?”
You get the drift right? 🙂
Winners Do Not Post Holy Statements As If God Has A Facebook Account – Am sure you have a couple of these bigots on your news feed daily. The kind that will lament to God about how he was ill treated by a fellow colleague. Or supplicates for retribution for the superior that just reprimanded her. Or the one who posts verses from the holy books, with the objective of insinuating to the relevant individuals that God is on his side. Whiners post a lot of such statuses. Somehow, Facebook has provided them with a pedestal where they can be the cleric/pastor for the month. If only God had a Facebook account…
Winners Do Not Post One Liners That Is So Cryptic, You Will Have To Ask Indiana Jones To Decipher – You should always use this as a barometer to find out who are the morons in your friend’s list. This type of whiners will post statuses that require passcodes and a biblical codex to understand what they wish to say. Most times, these whiners will wanna appear philosophical and all wise, to project a sort of mysterious maturity. Examples include,
“Forgiveness is as clear as the spring, while forgetting is as bleak as an incoming storm.”
“God grants the maturity of will to the will that wishes to mature.”
“Things are not going my way.”
Usually, these kinda statuses indicate the overwhelming need for a childlike sympathy from people who unknowingly will ask the whiner, “Are you okay? “Is everything all right?” These whiners just wanna be validated.
So there you have it. The Winner’s Guide to posting sensibly. 🙂